How do I deal with new interest from my friend? I've been friends with Paulina for almost two years, and we were both pretty happy with that. We dated other people and there wasn't any sexual tension between us. I did/do think she was cute, but I didn't pine or anything because it didn't seem like there was much between us and I was glad to have her as a friend anyway.
But, over the last 4 months I've been hitting the gym really hard and eating better. I was a little on the chubby side before, but I've since lost some 30+ lbs, as I look and feel MUCH better. Since I started getting in shape, I've noticed Paulina being flirtier, more touchy, and overall showing more signs of physical interest.
Part of me wants to ask her out, because she is good-looking and we get along. Yet I can't help but feel that if she wasn't showing interest before, my hobbies and personality weren't enough to spark her romantic interest. I'm torn between thinking "if she likes me now because I look good, what if that's all that really makes her want to be more than friends?" and "I worked damn hard to get in shape! Isn't this one of the reasons why?"
Maybe some of you can relate, but I almost feel offended by the thought that I wasn't "boyfriend material" before I was in shape (and yes, I realize she might not even want a relationship, but I think you get the sentiment).
Finally, like most sane people, my first course of action is usually "talk to the person and see how they feel", but I'm not sure how to start the "I like you but I'm worried you're superficial" conversation (and I know her well enough to know that, yes, she is on the superficial side).
So, do I keep it friendly (which I'm totally cool with) because she wasn't attracted to me in a non-physical way or should I go for it and hope that being in shape was just the cherry on top?
Do you have any idea what our reader should do? Is it weird for her to like him more? Let us know in the comments!
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