You Are The Advice Columnist: Is It Weird That I'm 23 And I've Never Been Single?

Am I just having a post-graduation identity crisis, or am I really in need of a change?
Avatar:
xoJane Advice Column
Author:
Publish date:
Social count:
69
Am I just having a post-graduation identity crisis, or am I really in need of a change?
ADVICEIMAGE.jpg

"I have been in two long-term relationships since I was 17. I haven't had much time to explore me, I am scared to be alone (who isn't?) and I am wondering if I am just going through a post-college manic crisis, or do I really need a change?

My current four-year relationship has been amazing: we totally understand each other and love each other wholly, we are supportive of each other's creative pursuits (music and art), and we have lived together for over a year with no major quarrels. BUT, since I graduated from college a few months ago, I feel I am in a slight rut. I wonder if this comfortable (but still loving and supportive) relationship has turned into complacency? Our sex lives have declined steadily, or at least I am not aroused nearly as often, and he hardly ever comes out with me and my friends. This is somewhat due to work schedules, but we live very different lifestyles. Many of my friends ask about him and why he isn't out with me and I find myself making lame excuses for him. I have talked with him briefly about these issues but I don't know how much he is willing to change. I feel as though in the time we have been together I have changed a lot and I am looking for further self discovery and improvement. How would our lives change if we weren't together? Are we growing together or are we holding each other back with a mutual passiveness and denial of what we really want? Am I just having a post-graduation identity crisis, or am I really in need of a change?"

Do you have any advice for our reader? Let her know in the comments!

Send all of your questions to Advice@xoJane.com