Should I Get Collagen Shot Into My G-Spot? I'd Have to Find It First

Making a spot that feels totally amazing and then hiding it was kind of a dick move on God's part.

Oct 23, 2012 at 3:00pm | Leave a comment

image

I am sort of a G-spot agnostic. After a life spent searching, I have resigned myself to never being truly sure of its existence. I've never had a G-spot orgasm, although I have experienced the added intensity of a clitoral orgasm with simultaneous internal stimulation. I've never had a partner touch something inside me and though "OH YES S/HE'S DEFINITELY HITTING MY G-SPOT NOW."

And while I have certainly felt stimulated while using my Njoy Pure Wand, which is designed to stimulate the G-spot, I am resistant to any narrative that suggests that a woman ought to be able to get off from intercourse. As a  teen girl, I spent a lot of time stifling yawns as totally clueless teenage boys tried to pound me into orgasm. I actually feel like I could cry when I think about the whole legion of dumb Midwestern boys out there who still have no idea that only a tiny fraction of women are ever, ever going to cum that way. GOD, read a book, YOKELS.

One thing I do know about the G-spot is that making a spot that feels totally amazing and then hiding it was kind of a dick move on God's part. There is literally nothing on a man's body you have to "find." It's all just OUT THERE, waving around at you. I actually think our entire genital setup is pretty sexist. Why do we have to do extra stuff to have orgasms during sex in the first place? To be fair, shouldn't our clitorises be tucked snugly into our vagina canals? I never had to go on some mystical quest to figure out how to make a dude cum.

But I'm also not arrogant enough to think that I have some sort of universal alpha vagina whose experiences sets the standard for vaginas everywhere. Some of you guys say you're having crazy G-spot orgasms, and I believe you. In fact, I want in on that shit.

Which is why, along with my pathological need for Internet attention, I find myself intrigued by the G-shot, a newish treatment in which collagen is injected into the G-spot, increasing its size to about that of a quarter in width and a fourth of an inch in height. According to the G-spot folks, this will result in enhanced arousal and gratification. SOUNDS GOOD SO FAR. I mean, except for that whole "needle in the vagina" thing. 

But wait, here's where I got lost. From the "What to Expect" section of the G-shot website:

"You will then go into the examination room alone and perform a self examination based upon the doctor’s instructions and after you are comfortable with the localization of the G-spot you will notify the assistant and they will come in to start the procedure."

WAIT, I've got to find this shit myself? If I knew how to do that, I probably wouldn't NEED a G-shot.

I don't know exactly how I thought they were going to locate it exactly. Science machines of some sort? Or one of those weird tricks skeevy dudes tell you, like, "It feels just like the tip of your nose"? Am I confident enough in my ability to locate a spot I barely believe in to say, "Stick the needle right here, doctor"?

Further considerations: The G-shot is not approved by the FDA, although collagen injections to the vagina have been used to treat urinary incontinence for years. As with any medical procedure, there are risks and some of them are uncommon but pretty gnarly; I read a few sentences about urethrovaginal fistula and it was more than enough. As a side note, here are some of the other potential side effects from the consent form:

  • Constant awareness of the G-spot
  • A sensation of always being sexually aroused
  • Constant vaginal wetness
  • Mental preoccupation with the G-spot

IN WHICH A BLESSING BECOMES A CURSE. It costs about 1,000 dollars but I could probably do it for free or with a large discount since I would be writing about it. And it lasts about 4 months. I am serious about wanting to try it, but also I really don't want to mess up my junk on a sexy whim. I don't really NEED a bigger G-spot, you know?

And I especially don't want to mess my shit up if the G-spot is just some Loch-Ness-Monster-style vagina hoax after all. So tell me in the comments: Is this G-spot business for real? Do you cum from G-spot stimulation? Could you locate yours in a medical setting?