It Happened To Me: My Online Dating Profile Inspired A Whole Forum Thread Dedicated To What A Whore I Am

I checked my inbox on OkCupid and there is a message with a link and a note that read, “Just thought you should know, people are talking about you.” Naturally I assumed it was spam, but clicked the link anyways.

Jun 12, 2013 at 11:00am | Leave a comment

Hi, y’all. If you’re like me, you're probably a raging slut who can’t get seem to stop sucking 1,000 dicks.
 
Well we're in luck because the gentlemen at the Men Going on Their Own Way Forums have given us the tools we need to learn how to get off the ole’ cock carousel. Heck, if we're lucky we can learn how to tailor ourselves and our online-dating profiles so that we are attractive to the boys of the interwebs.
 
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Trying to hide my utter plainness by channeling Tina Fey.

A few months ago, I decided to give online dating a try. I joined OkCupid, made a profile, and allowed the wonderfully addictive weirdness to wash over me. Overall, I've had a pretty positive experience.

Until early one morning, when I received a notification saying I had a new message. So I check my inbox and there is a message with a link and a note that read, “Just thought you should know, people are talking about you.” Naturally I assumed it was spam, but clicked the link anyways. 

What do you know, it was a whole forum dedicated to a "stupid twat on OkCupid" who just happens to be me! The Internet’s biggest and best men’s forum, Men Going Their Own Way, provides a safe space where these men can freely discuss how libtards (I think it stands for liberal retards) and feminists are conspiring to undermine their male privilege.

An OkCupid user, I believe his username was Mr. Wombat, created a forum on MGTOW for the sole purpose of analyzing and dissecting my dating profile. Mr. Wombat begins his post by saying: “You’re an attractive, 24-year-old woman who is having the time of her life riding the cock carousel so being flaky is part of the norm, in fact, it’s so part of who you are, you put this in your profile.”

Mr. Wombat seemed to have formed his grievance against me initially based on the fact that I put a disclaimer on my OkCupid profile stating that I regularly ignore creepy messages and have no interest in exchanges of nude photos or threesomes. Later in my profile, I stated that my biggest pet peeves are unanswered text messages from people I’ve met IRL and when people disappear rather than courteously ending a relationship. I staunchly maintain that these are two completely different issues, but Mr. Wombat felt I was being hypocritical.

Shockingly, or perhaps un-shockingly, Mr. Wombat was not alone; 136 internet-users liked the thread, and 22 others contributed to the discussion. Here’s a taste of some of their insightful and sound commentary.

TheDisgruntledGentleman wrote, “She definitely has the thousand cock stare going on.” He then provided his comrades with a direct link to my profile and admitted that he would consider "chucking one up me" despite my un-noteworthy appearance. 

One user inquired about the number in my user name, “I wonder if the 1702 is her cock count?” Thank goodness another user reminded THX1138 that as I’m a woman, my cock count is at least double that number.

RedNova wrote, “Like a feminist, she’ll subvert the conversation and make things either about her or she’ll want things to go her way almost all of the time.”

The members go on to critique my appearance, label me a drunken whore, and chastise me for appreciating female comedians. One user even predicts how I will age using a mathematical tool called the Wall Adjustment Factor. Here’s how it works -- my stated age is 24, I appear 30, 30 minus 6 is 24, and 6 divided by 24 is 25%. Therefore, any man who would date me must take into consideration my 25% Wall Adjustment Factor percentage; by 30 I’ll appear 38, and it’d be best if men just "fucked and chucked" me.

Upon discovering this forum, I felt shocked and violated. I’ll even admit that at first my self-confidence took a blow. But after a few re-reads, I realized that all their slut-bashing, fat-shaming, and feminist-hating was merely an expression of their deeply ingrained misogynistic views.

Also, their commentary is pretty hilarious. Someone please tell me what a cock carousel is, it sounds like a ride from a sexual nightmare I had once. What is a thousand cock stare? Do I have it now and is it genetic? Do people seriously use the Wall Adjustment Factor equation? 

Dating is hard enough as it is. For some of us, online dating can be a godsend. It allows us to be vulnerable and break out of our social circle, lessening the chances for misperception and awkward interactions. Why these men felt the need to criticize me publicly is beyond my comprehension, as is the unapologetic sexism of MGTOW members.

The members’ deep hatred of women became evident once I noticed that RedNova quoted Otto Weininger, an Austrian author who espoused the idea that “greatness is absent from the nature of the woman and the Jew (Otto Weininger, Sex & Character, p. 307).” 

RedNova shared this quote by Weininger:

“No men who really think deeply about women retain a high opinion of them; men either despise women or they have never thought seriously about them.”
-Otto Weininger, Sex & Character, p. 236  

The Internet in all of its glory has provided outlets for all sorts of sociopaths and misogynists to express their views, and they have every right to do so. I’m not quite sure of the correct way to respond or combat the culture of misogyny that pervades society today; but I’ve decided I’m just going to continue to own who I am and what I want out of life. 

Giving any credit to characters like Mr. Wombat and RedNova is something we as strong ladies should never do. Sometimes I want to run through the streets eating jumbo slices of pizza after drinking too many gin and tonics, sometimes I want to yell at boys who ignore me instead of telling me they aren’t interested, and sometimes I want to say that I like politics and cheese -- and that’s okay.  

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I would only want to date someone who thinks my painting and cat are amazing #YOLO.

 
Sincerely,
 
Mara
Your local wide-fatbitch-cock carousel loving friend