Here's your place to come talk about sex and love whenever you feel like it.
During the submission process, the author was not transparent about her relationship with the company that she promotes in this story. - Amber
I've always been the kind of person who believes in love more than anything. I honestly believe that love makes us better people, teaches us to be selfless, and shows us the beauty in being vulnerable. I am a woman who believes in the glory, power, and depth of love, a self-admitted hopeless romantic who fell in love with a practical man.
And I just got dumped.
It was the worst pain I've ever been in — it's odd how emotional pain is so torturous that it manifests as gut-wrenching physical pain — but it became one of the best things that ever happened to me. Here's what happened:
The longtime love of my life (or late 20s) broke my heart in an attempt to "do what was best for me." Then, for two days, I was basically reduced to this:
But during those two days, the most amazing thing happened.
My friends stepped in in a way that I could have never imagined. I had never felt so loved and important. You see, I live in this small, politically backward city, and all of my friends have slowly moved on in their lives and moved far away. I felt as though, in a sense, I was isolated in a stagnant part of my life and that everyone was moving on and growing up and I couldn't truly be their friend again until I caught up with them. And then, in my hour of hurt and need, my friends went above and beyond. My friends poured in messages of love and support. I received the most encouraging texts and phone calls, money via Venmo for wine and nail polish with the instructions "Only for pleasurable things," followed by wine and chocolate and burger emojis. I had amazing conversations and was able to speak freely in a way I never could with a man I was romantically interested in. Another friend had recently given me a gift card to the spa just because, and last but not least, I received a "breakup box," the end-all, be-all of breakup-recovery gifts.
So there's this amazing little boutique called Rodéo Boutique, and they do this thing called "Rodéo Wrapped." It is a gift-giving dream come true. Basically they put these little themed boxes together filled with all kinds of pampering goodies and fun confetti! There are "Birthday Bae" boxes, "Beachin'" boxes, "Treat Yo Self" boxes, and last but not least, the "Too Good For Him Anyway" box. I had the pleasure of receiving this box right to my doorstep (yes, they ship anywhere in the continental U.S.), and its contents made my day. Actually, my week. Well it's been a few weeks now, and I'm still enjoying them.
One day, I came home to a large box on my doorstep with a bunch of fresh flowers next to it. Upon opening the box, there was a card telling me that I didn't need a man to be happy and that the contents of the box contained a few feel-good things to get me going again. First of all, receiving a surprise package (and flowers) is pretty much always fun and exciting. But it's even better when it's sent from a caring friend who knows what you're going through and contains only things that will make you smile.
My breakup box included an adorable wine glass that says "stay fancy"; a book of kindness, which is a sweet little book that has different artistic words of encouragement on each page; chocolate toffee pretzels; a little bag of glitter and unicorn confetti; and a delicious drink mixer called "The Filthy Liar." Seriously, this box contains the perfect amount of whimsical charm, sentiment, thoughtfulness, and comedic relief a girl could need from a friend who may want to be there for you but isn't able to be. And the best part is, while their ready-made boxes are perfection as is, you can customize any of these boxes and also make your own!
So, here are my incredibly beautiful, loving, and wonderful friends who GET IT! They have all been there. Who hasn't? Who hasn't felt the heartache of unrequited love? With friends by my side, let me share with you what I have learned from these women and from my own personal experiences, keeping in mind that everyone heals differently and there is no wrong way to heal.
- Let yourself go. Let yourself feel every emotion. The pain. The fear. The doubt. The fury. The emptiness. Feel it all. You'll never learn or understand the depths of yourself if you aren't vulnerable with yourself. Don't be afraid to give in to every feeling. Embrace it. Wallow in it. Then move on to the next one. Until you start to gain closure and heal.
- Let your friends love you. Don't put your worth in a man or woman's love or your expectations of being loved. Expectations will fail you 90 percent of the time. Let those expectations go and let your friends help. Don't be proud. Be broken and let their love and comfort patch you up.
- Don't be afraid to talk it out. You'll learn that most people have been through the same thing and have very similar views of the partners who have hurt them and what they've learned from their own personal heartaches.
- Have fun. It will take some time to get back to your old self, but once you do, go out. Have fun. Don't feel bad about laughing. About flirting. About being who you are with no inhibitions or obligations. Be your true self and luxuriate in every second of your beautiful life.
I am by no means a master of love and relationships, but I do have some pretty incredible friends, and for that I am eternally thankful. No man/woman can ever give you what a friend can give you, ladies. Sure, your partner can be your "best friend," but sometimes you just need a friend to validate your feelings and be there to understand you in a way that no one else ever can. Don't take your friends for granted, and NEVER take yourself for granted. You are unique and incredible and should be getting back just as much (if not more) love in a relationship as you are giving. If a partner is not giving you what you need, maybe your friends can. Even in the form of a breakup box.
Nothing says "I care" like a box filled with personalized goodies, each handpicked with your well-being in mind. If you know of someone who is going through a tough time, I cannot recommend a breakup box more. Or a box for a friend on the job hunt who is feeling discouraged, or just because you love them and they are your friend! Hold each other dear. Your friends will be the ones still holding your hand at the end of your rope, and they are the ones who will help you climb back up.