I'm Going To AVN! Wait, What Do I Wear?

In case you aren't familiar, that's the Adult Video News Awards Show, variously known as "The Porn Awards" and "The Oscars of Porn."

Jan 18, 2012 at 4:00pm | Leave a comment

Oh snap, ya'll! As of tomorrow morning, Olivia and I will be Vegas-bound. We're going to AVN 2012! In case you aren't familiar, that's the Adult Video News Awards Show, variously known as "The Porn Awards" and "The Oscars of Porn."

Here's a picture from last year:

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And the year before:

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And the year before:

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I've actually been trying to get to this thing for years, but every year I'd get passed over for some co-worker with a penis! (OK, and technical know-how with a video camera.)

But everything's coming up Emily this year! Starting to tomorrow you can expect real-time updates from the epicenter of sexy happenings, the Adult Entertainment Expo, where erotic retailers will be showing the latest in sexy toys and erotic novelties.

Then, on Saturday, I'll be covering the red-carpet event. Which begs the question, WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO THE AVN AWARDS?

The stars go glam, expertly filling out beautiful designer gowns. But let's face it, I'm no porn star, and do not want to be directly compared to one while wearing a similar outfit.

Which is why I decided against a post in which I try on a bunch of lingerie-ish dresses and super-bare strappy dresses. I am not going to look better than a porn star in that stuff, and I literally could not walk a mile in their shoes. They've got to be six or seven inches!

Nor do I own anything really fancy. But given what I do have, which outfit should I wear to fulfill my life-long dream of watching beautiful sexy sex workers be rewarded for their hard work? And after you guys vote on this, I promise not to post any more photos of myself in clothing for at least a week. I mean, really.

Let me know now so I can pack the winner tonight!

Option #1:

I bought this dress for $17.95 at a vintage store because it looked like something Patsy Cline would wear. You can't see how sparkly and gold it is in this picture.

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Option #2:

This one is a vintage reproduction from "Stop Staring." I can wear Spanx if you want. I'm wearing that strapless bra I got from Panache, and it really works!

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Option #3:

The belt doesn't really fit, but I probably have another one I can use at home. Plus, pockets!

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Option #4:

From EC Star. Those pleated panels are great for twirling.

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Follow me @msemilymccombs and Olivia  @BlackOlive15  on Twitter for updates and photos from #AVN !