Noah - xoJane

A Guy Recaps Lady TV: Snapped (Redux)

Noah — Thu, 10 May 2012 18:00:23 -0400

This time, our murderers are a bunch of live action role-playing Renaissance Faire enthusiasts. (Blame Julieanne.)

A Guy Recaps Lady TV: Charmed

Noah — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 16:00:23 -0400

What a well-rounded failure of a TV show.

TV Lied to Me About Sex

Noah — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 17:00:47 -0400

Before there was "Sex and the City," there was Brian Benben.

Sometimes Your Tattoos Wig Me Out

Noah — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 17:00:25 -0400

They frighten me, and the idea of touching one makes me queasy.

A Guy Recaps Lady TV: The Client List

Noah — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 13:00:23 -0400

Oh, Lifetime. What has happened in your life to make you like this?

Small Apartment People Problems: My Kitchen Is Next to My Bathroom

Noah — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 10:00:23 -0400

My bath towels smell like shallots.

Just Celebrate Your Birthday Like a Grownup, OK?

Noah — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 10:00:23 -0400

There's nothing noble about pretending like you don't have a birthday.

A Guy Recaps Lady TV: "Snapped"

Noah — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 10:00:20 -0400

WHY IS TV FOR WOMEN 95 percent ABOUT THE WORST WOMEN?

How to Drunk Text Like a Winner

Noah — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 11:00:24 -0400

I sent just the one word, with a question mark after it. At the time, it seemed erotically succinct.

The Internet Argument I Didn't Even Deserve To Win

Noah — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 12:00:20 -0500

Finally I got a return email. I was halfway to an adrenaline buzz as I opened it. But, instead of an attack that I was intentionally trying to draw out of her, I found this.

A Guy Recaps Lady TV: "Dance Moms"

Noah — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 11:00:16 -0500

This show offends me as a woman, and I'm not even a woman.

Hey, What Was the Second Time You Had Sex Like?

Noah — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 13:00:15 -0500

The second time, you were a little more confident, a little more adventurous, and a lot more capable of processing your surroundings and committing them to memory.

Say Something Nice: Noah Garfinkel

Noah — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 15:30:15 -0500

My Somewhat Inappropriate Conversation With Time Warner About Downton Abbey

Noah — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 10:00:26 -0500

The love story of our time.

OK, It's Time to Start Making Fun of "Downton Abbey"

Noah — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 11:00:14 -0500

WARNING! This article contains an obscene amount of spoiler alerts if you are not yet up to date.

A Guy Recaps Lady TV: "Untouchable: The Drew Peterson Story"

Noah — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 10:00:23 -0500

In the fifth installment of A Guy Recaps Lady TV, Noah takes in the recently aired Lifetime Original Movie, "Untouchable: The Drew Peterson Story."

My Strange Addiction: Disgusting Foods

Noah — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 10:00:19 -0500

[Ed. Note: Do not read this post during lunch. It is seriously gross. I'm not kidding. You've been warned. OK. - Julieanne.]

A Guy Recaps Lady TV: "Say Yes to the Dress"

Noah — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 17:00:14 -0500

In which Noah is flummoxed by sweetheart necklines, the "Wow Factor," and, of course, Randy.

I Wish My Porn Wouldn’t Try To Be Politically Conscious

Noah — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 18:00:15 -0500

The last thing I want to do while looking at porn is think.

It Happened To Me: I Was Mistaken for a Gay Hustler

Noah — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 10:00:10 -0500

Fortunately, as each year goes by, I have begun to age a little and become better about not being polite to strange men who assume they can pay to blow me.