Eliot - xoJane

Answering the Status Updates Of A Young Gay Guy I'd Like To Save

Eliot — Wed, 02 May 2012 14:00:34 -0400

Cameron doesn’t know who I am, but I want to save him. I want to be his gay Jesus.

Hate LA? Just Pretend You're In The Cast Of A Nancy Meyers Movie

Eliot — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 16:00:21 -0400

I wasn't supposed to like LA... but something had to give.

The 50 Worst Songs to Have Sex During

Eliot — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 16:00:20 -0400

As we've all been there once or twice or three times, can we at least laugh about it? Maybe a weird, sad laugh, like, "HA! Ha... haaaaaa."

I Got Over My Fear of 30, And So Can You

Eliot — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 14:00:26 -0500

I’m ready for you, 30. Throw all the Merino wool sweaters and New York Times Real Estate sections you want to at me! You’ll never win!

Please Stop Using These Annoying Phrases Before I Am Forced to "Snapped" Murder You

Eliot — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 12:00:14 -0500

16. "Amazeballs"

I'm Gay and I Don't Understand Your Vagina... But I Respect It

Eliot — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 15:00:23 -0500

My limited understanding dictates that it’s a sort of upside-down fanny pack with a very, very small zipper. But that doesn't mean I hate it!

The Trouble With "Gay Icons"

Eliot — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 13:00:16 -0500

Declaring yourself royalty in a culture you aren't a part of has been historically hubristic. Just ask Russia.

The Golden Girls Are My Religion

Eliot — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 14:00:12 -0500

In fact, after Bea Arthur died, I had her face tattooed on my arm with the words, Thank You For Being A Friend.

I Will Be Skipping My High School Reunions Forever, Thanks.

Eliot — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 10:00:07 -0500

Post-Facebook, a reunion seems more like a weird war between nostalgic home-towners and those of us who like to think we escaped that weird island.

I'm a Problem Sweater

Eliot — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 16:00:12 -0500

It is unbearable to sweat as much as I do. At the gym, I go through at least two bandanas per 90-minute workout.

He Said, She Said: "I Wish You Would Dress Like Whoopi Goldberg" Edition

Eliot — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 17:00:15 -0500

Eliot and Jackie have strong opinions about whether or not friends do pantsuits to friends.

I'm a Man, I Shop at Forever 21, and that's OK

Eliot — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 10:00:24 -0500

I knew there had to be a happy medium between channeling my usual “Sunday Afternoon Lesbian” and “quietly masculine bassist in a fringe-alternative band.”

Please, American Women! Go Buy Robyn's Music

Eliot — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 13:00:22 -0400

The case for a less Gaga gay icon.