Damn, I'm Sweaty; Or The Time I Took A "Detox Bath"

I've been soaking for the last 20 minutes in what is described as a Detox Bath, but is kind of more like Detox Soup with Human.

Mar 21, 2013 at 10:00am | Leave a comment

I'm not sure if this was one of my more boneheaded ideas. 
 
As I write this, I'm soaking in my bathtub. I have my desk chair pulled up next to the tub with my computer perched on the seat. 
 
I've been soaking for the last 20 minutes in what is described as a Detox Bath, but is kind of more like Detox Soup with Human.  
 
The bath, composed of Epsom salt, baking soda, ginger powder, eucalyptus oil and lavender oil, is supposed to cleanse my body of impurities and leave me feeling "refreshed and awakened."
 
So far I just feel sweaty.  
 
Why am I doing this? 
 
Well lately I've been feeling a little "bleh." And it's all my own doing. 
 
Normally I'm pretty vigilant about what I eat, as I have Celiac and paying attention to my food just comes with the territory. But lately I've been subsisting on 7-11 veggie rolls, string cheese, potato chips, the occasional avocado, and coffee. I'm starting to wonder if all my scalp woes and general lethargy could be related to all the shit I've been putting in my body. (Duh.) 
 
So, I'm on the rebound from my less than healthy ways, trying to regain the vim and vigor of my past. 
 
Hence the Detox Bath. 
 
I'm more than halfway through the prescribed 40-minute soak, and like I said, I'm sweaty. Really sweaty. 
 
The instructions said that the ginger would "increase your heat levels" thus making you sweat out more crap. If that's true, than I'm sweating out a lot of crap. There are beads of sweat dripping down the sides of my face, and I'm usually not much of a bath-sweater. I'm really not that much of a sweater at all. (Could that be part of my problem? Hmmm.)
 
If you subscribe to natural remedies and hippy dippy potions -- and you know I do -- the ingredients for this magic bath-soup seem legit. 
 
  • Epsom Salt (2 Cups): Flushes out the body and helps restore magnesium levels. Pretty standard really, who hasn't heard of soaking one's feet in Epsom salt after a long day, to soothe your aches and pains, and take down swelling. 
  • Baking Soda (1 Cup): Great skin cleanser. I've used it before to make scrubs or home made cleansers (honey + baking soda + water= easy, simple and AWESOME skin cleanser). It's also a great deodorizer, so maybe I'll exit this bath a little less stinky…as one would hope to be upon exiting a bath. 
  • Ginger Powder (About 3 tablespoons): Like I said, the ginger is supposed to make you sweat. I do think sweating is a great way of the body to rid itself of excess waste, so I'm all for this. I'm not going to lie though, part of me wonders what the ginger is doing to my vag. 
  • Essential Oils/Aromatherapy Oils (About 15 drops): Certain oils have certain cleansing properties and can benefit the body in specific ways. I chose lavender essential oil for its skin soothing and calming properties -- plus I like how it makes me feel all spa-like - and eucalyptus essential oil because I like the fresh scent, and because it has astringent qualities. I generally tend to go a little conservative on my essential oil use when it comes to my whole body -- sensitive bits and all -- so if you decide to do this be sure to know how your skin will react to the oils you choose. (NOTE: if you have epilepsy, consider staying away from lavender as it can be a seizure trigger, just putting that out there)
  • Duct Tape: My bathtub is busted, the plug doesn't plug. So I taped up the drain with duct tape. Guess what? It works. Almost 40 minutes soaking here and I'm still submerged in water. Duct tape, what can't you do?
So there you have it. My magic Detox Bath/soup. It smells really good, and I must admit, my skin does feel soft and smooth. I don't know if I'm really detoxing, I think I'll have to judge that in the next day or so, but I do feel pretty good right now. Maybe it's because I'm sitting here in a warm bath with a day off on the horizon tomorrow. Maybe it's because I'm sweating so much I'm seeing dead celebrities in my bathroom. 
 
All right. Bath time is almost up. I'm gonna soak here for a few more minutes, rinse off some residue, and report back on how revitalized I feel. 
 
I hope you appreciate the fact that I did not drop my computer into the bath-soup. 
 
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POST DETOX BATH-SOUP REPORT
 
image

Yes this is me standing in my bathtub post-bath, trying to get a good picture late at night. 

 
I have a bit of a headache and I feel slightly lightheaded. The instructions said to drink lots of water afterward or else I might end up feeling sick due to all the flushing out of toxins. So here I sit with my glass of water. 
 
I may also feel a little weird because I just sat in a hot bath for 45 minutes, but I'm choosing to believe it's toxin removal instead. 
 
My skin does look and feel really freaking good, though. I honestly don't remember the last time my skin felt this soft. My whole body feels very clean and exfoliated, but not dry or taut. I'm going to remember this for the next time I'm in somebody's wedding. 
 
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Ooooh! My skin is so soft! Touch it! Touch it!

 
Do I feel "refreshed and awakened"? Sort of. I'm not sure if I just REALLY want to feel refreshed or if I actually am. Like I said, I think the real test will be how I'm doing tomorrow. I will say that the way I feel right now is similar to the way I feel after a good massage -- relaxed, mellow, a little groggy. 
 
However, I do smell great. Big improvement there. 
 
I'm not entirely sure how many toxins can be flushed out by a bath; I'm frankly always a little dubious when anybody talks about toxins and the purging of them. "Toxins" can be kind of a buzzword in the natural, crunchy world. 
 
But I'll try almost anything if there's the off chance that it might pull out the gunk I've accumulated in my system over the years. Often the results aren't as dramatic as I'd hoped, but usually there's some seed of truth. (Ugh, except for those crazy-ass "Japanese" foot pads that are supposed to pull toxins and heavy metals through the soles of your feet. When I was 20 I really wanted them to work and make me pure. Lies. All Lies.)
 
So we'll see what happens. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and I'll be a Detox Bath-Soup convert, or maybe I'll just be happy to have skin so soft you just want to rub your face all over it. 
 
If nothing else, this whole Detox Bath thing got me to finally clean my bathtub. 
Posted in New Agey, detox, baths, toxins