"She should have just said no," people say, placing the responsibility firmly on the woman involved -- but why? Why is the responsibility on her to say no instead of on the initiating partner to secure a yes?
Never did it occur to wonder why it was that I was so often the sole person responsible for insisting on safe sex, why I was positioned repeatedly as the condom police, posed at the entrance to my vagina with a whistle and a handheld stop sign.
Commentator Zerlina Maxwell did a brave thing this weekend. She went on Fox News, not exactly a bastion of human rights commentary, and said that if we want to stop rape, we need to educate men on the subject, rather than putting the responsibility on women.
That room was full of “cool” guys, progressives, radicals even. And still they saw the world as an episode of Perry Mason where men accused or convicted of crimes against women and children were innocent, and the truth would come out in the end.
I have a problem with the idea that the only purpose the “women-only” tent at Occupy Wall Street serves is to be the “safe haven” that Fox News portrays it to be -- a tent where women can be "protected" from sexual assault, as though women should not expect to have their bodies and personal space respected no matter where they are.