I was completely unable to focus on my practice, instead feeling hyper-aware of my skinny white girl body.

Jan 28, 2014 at 3:00pm | 3423 comments

When a white woman calls me "girl" or "girlfriend," she reminds me that my racial experience can be co-opted.
And no you cannot post “How not to be a Dick to your White Friend,” cause Nobody FUCKING CARES.
After my pictures started making the rounds on deviantArt, tumblr and 4chan, it became pretty clear that my cosplay brings all the racists to the yard, and they're like…white cosplay is better than yours.
White people, could you please stop flipping out when the topic of white privilege comes up?
I can’t undo an experience that left an indelible mark on my racial psyche.

Feb 7, 2014 at 10:00am | 803 comments

Burnt. Black skin. Dirty. I’ve been called the worst names from fellow Singaporeans.

Apr 25, 2013 at 1:00pm | 742 comments

Meeting Jeff was a turning point, because he made me realise that racists are not just overblown caricatures of evil but come in every shape and form, and sometimes you trust them enough to get into bed with them, only to be subject to their attacks.

Aug 21, 2013 at 2:00pm | 567 comments

I have a rule: I can express an opinion without dictating behavior. I now invite you to join me as I break that rule: You can’t wear an ethnicity as a costume. You just can’t.
Acts of self-naming seem more than reasonable -- they’re self-affirming, somewhat instinctive and protective. They show an ownership of one’s own narrative. They make complete sense to me.
It's not merely that racism is still rampant in America -- it's that your reaction to it matters.
I never expected to go home with him for the holidays this year, nor did I expect any of our kisses to begin with Kay. But as much as I’ve seen photos of his family members and know their names, I did kind of expect that at least one of them might come to know mine.
He’s tried telling kids, "Hey, you know, I'm not a petting zoo.” Nothing deters them from trying.

Feb 24, 2014 at 12:00pm | 446 comments

I can provide alternatives to the Avril Lavignes and Gwen Stefanis of the world, but then my kids walk out the door without me.
It’s never about one word, it’s about the intonations that seem to arise when having any interracial exchange.
I didn't mind living in rural Tennessee until I had two black children.
clutch magazine
I offer rules for non-Black people to engage Black women without causing offense. If you can manage NOT to do the following, you can probably come across as a decent human being.
Who are these people and why did they bring me here to this town surrounded by all these white people? Even my 8-year-old son thinks it’s arcane.
It has nothing to do with skin color and everything to do with cultural upbringing. But if we’re going to talk about stereotypes, then I will have to declare from personal experience: Asian men are the best ones to date.
gabby douglas
There are some who want to ask “why we need to bring race into it” and they’re the same kinds of people who say we live in a “post-racial” society. We need to bring race into it because Gabby Douglas’ race is important.
In this country, because I’m a black woman, with an “ethnic” name, my name is automatically labeled a “black name”. Guess what, I’m fine with that.

Sep 23, 2013 at 11:30am | 339 comments