I keep giving a ton of advice lately to kids about to leave college. Can you help me?
jobs
unemployment
I spend most of my time trying to find a job. I would really prefer if we spent this social time discussing something else.
hair
I’m trying to decide if I should just totally give up on making my curls look professional and like, marry my flat iron already.
tarot
People would ask a questions about whether they'd marry their love this year or whether their girlfriend was really the one, and then the computer program would give me an idea about what to say.
ihtm contest
My favorite part of my internships hasn’t been the costumes, although I wish I could wear most of them every day. It’s the moments when I start talking to a little kid, and I see them become transfixed.
acrylic nails
For those of you already running to the comments to be like "Get a gel manicure silly!" I say, "BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT AND THERE IS NO AGONY SO EXQUISITE AS WHEN THAT MANICURE GROWS OUT AND YOU START CATCHING YOUR PUBES IN IT!"
fired
That’s it, I thought. If I’m going down, I’m going down unencumbered. In retrospect, it was this instinct that held me together during the whole process. Since getting fired, I’ve never been happier and more productive.
shoes
I am a really good fucking hostess and it is about 50% due to my choice of footwear.
welfare
It did take a long time to finally start earning a living wage. Much longer than I had anticipated. Moving from welfare to work didn’t happen overnight. It took years.
jobs
You may be surprised to hear that some of the most attractive, fit, funny people I’ve ever met worked at Marvel Comics. The first time I took a friend to my office, she whispered to me, “Why is everyone here so hot?”
makeup
I don’t go crazy when I need to use an extra paper towel because I know I can get more at the 99¢ Store, but items like face wipes are now conserved like war rations -- rare and cherished treasures.
etsy
There are shit weeks with no sales at all. Then, you wake up and check your phone to see that some saint in the West Village ordered five gowns last night and paid your entire rent for the month.
costa rica
I wouldn't be me if I couldn't feel some anxiety about having fun. In this case, I'm feeling a little weird about leaving work for a week.
money
For five years, I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner at my desk. The 12-hour days weren’t so bad–it was the ones that stretched into 14 hours that got to me
office humor
Read on for a comprehensive field guide to 9-5 humor…
jobs
It’s hard not to drop the laundry basket and ask, “What the hell am I doing here?”
barista drama
I don't care how many fan-videos you've made over Jim Halpert and Pam Beesly; these days, I'm always going to give dating co-workers a giant side-eye.
jobs
Some professionals argue that women should avoid swearing at work. I get where they're coming from -- to a point.
flirting
I'm a textbook extrovert, but when I meet new people -- particularly at the office -- it's like my brain resets and I go into hyper flirtatious mode.
career
The second in an occasional series I will do on career shit.
bosses
Offices without bitchy bosses are often sorely lacking in one critical element: FEAR.
career
If they can do it, you can, too.
