endometriosis
Most days I laid in bed and suffered, convinced that either I had some kind of cancer eating me from the inside out that no doctor could find, or that they were right and there was nothing wrong with me and the pain was an invention of my twisted mind.
pregnancy
After struggling to get pregnant, I had to have a misplaced pregnancy surgically removed. When looking for comfort, I found reasons to be angry, and reasons to be persistent.
relationships
She is absent in my waking life, and only appears at night while I sleep. She appears while I am sitting in my old family home, everything as it was when we were children apart from we are adults now.
moms
People ask me how I’m doing, and when I say, “I’m fine,” they nod, assuming I’m holding something back for their benefit. But I’m not. I am fine. I am good. I am all right.
babies
I would do anything to hear her heartbeat again. Why didn't I record it? I smell her little hat and cry.
friendship
Terminal illness requires a level of seriousness that I’m not naturally capable of.
adoption
When it’s been emotionally or financially taxing, I’ve still felt nothing but extraordinarily fortunate to share my home with such wonderful friends.
death
Like so many other things that are quickly becoming outdated, obituaries are a useful form of communication that is lacking a user base.
babies
Mainly because I've been there and done that -- and it didn't end well.
babies
My first miscarriage would rip the rug out from under me, alienating me from my own body, and startling me with a grief I never imagined possible The second robbed me of my faith in God’s hand on the universe.
brain tumor
Sometimes I am sure of who you would be if you had lived. Sometimes I am not.