first period
Do you remember Kotex Personals Protective Panties? If you don't, that's okay, because I'm pretty sure that my mom was the only person who bought them.
Tell me about your first period, ya'll. Was there a parade? Or just a lot of Pamprin?

May 18, 2012 at 4:00pm | 189 comments

My shocking discovery in a Main Street, U.S.A. bathroom launched me into a lifetime of looking back at my shortened childhood.
One woman brought me a coloring book full of vaginas, of all shapes and sizes; resplendent in their diversity.
Articles about fathers almost never seem to focus on them as a primary caregiver, and instead we just pick on dads for having bad taste in footwear (support your arches, you idiot), ugly eyeglasses, and unsightly cars. Let me tell you about embarrassing.
childhood crushes
To this day Faneuil Hall, Greek mythology, and "Empire Records" all still give me the faintest of lady boners.