My daughter's friends don't believe her when she tells them, "Daddy lives in a dumpster."
I’m trying to figure out why I’ve been alone this long, because I’m kind of sick of it. (And everyone at xoJane is sick of hearing about it.)
sex sex sex and love
I’ve never been good at guessing the end of books and movies. I guess I’m just not the kind of person who sees things coming.
Elisabeth was lying on her back on the bed, an unopened bottle of lubricant beside her. I’d packed it in the optimism that the aphrodisiac of travel would rekindle our lukewarm sex life.
We got married a month after I moved there and I didn't tell anyone until after the fact
Somehow I had convinced myself that once we were married, it would all work itself out. Spoiler alert: It did not.
If your online dating profile doesn’t disclose that you are divorced, the moment you explain you are really “divorced” and not just “single,” I immediately think you are acting shady.
You can finally hear your own voice again. Plus you no longer have to constantly initiate sex, and hallelujah: no more obligatory birthday blowjobs.
being fat all over the internet
To say stuff like, “Weight gain is grounds for divorce,” is not just to operate under a faulty notion of what marriage is, but of what it is to even be a person existing in the universe.
you are the advice columnist
I'm thinking about telling him, even knowing it will probably end at least the one friendship.
Having a week where I don’t have to put anyone to bed, or be the disciplinarian, or wait until after 9:00 p.m. to watch my recorded HBO shows is THE BEST.
What if I don't want my new name to sound like a paint color, huh?
elizabeth street
I think about my older child, who is the more sensitive one, and how a divorce could just destroy her and confuse all sense of order that she has in the world.
Many well-meaning people immediately asked me if we were sure. Uh, where was that doubt when I was spending thousands of dollars on my wedding?
Before he told me he wanted a divorce, we had never talked about getting a divorce. Not even in jest
Whoever said three times was a charm was high or delusional.
I will tell you, when someone commits a felony in order to no longer share their life with you, it’s a big, fat, fucking “FUCK YOU!” with a judge’s approval.

May 2, 2013 at 11:00am | 158 comments

catherine zeta-jones
I'm not sure exactly why I care about the latest celebrity romantic casualty. But ... I kind-of do. Just a little.
I made the decision to cut off all contact with my mother.
If you have never been through a divorce yourself, you might not realize how the things you are saying might actually be making your friend feel worse.