It Happened To Me: My Ex Posted a Photo of Me Half-Naked On Social Media After We Broke Up

The idea of gaining a like or a follower at the expense of my nearly naked body was worth it to him. It makes me wonder about the things we’ll do for attention.
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The idea of gaining a like or a follower at the expense of my nearly naked body was worth it to him. It makes me wonder about the things we’ll do for attention.

We met at a bar in his hometown and hit it off right away.

I should have known something was up when he told me a close “friend” of his worked at a strip club as a bartender/shot girl and he hung out where she worked because of the free drinks. In retrospect, guys don’t go to strip clubs for the food and drinks. 

On the bright side, we only dated for four months so there was no real heartbreak. This doesn’t take away from the fact that he went beyond the typical level of jerkdom by posting a photo of me half-naked on Twitter, months after we broke up.

As a young woman nearing 30, I know what it’s like to enjoy life without social media. When online dating and instant communication with people all around the world became a thing, I could see how issues arise in a relationship when one partner falls victim to the instant gratification of being acknowledged by friends and strangers in seconds. 

Social media played more of a role in my short-lived relationship with my ex than it should have. When we started dating, I didn’t want to connect with him online because I didn’t want to drag any jealousy or insecurity issues into the relationship through social media stalking. 

He made somewhat of a big deal of this, but I ignored it. Later I would realize he was a junkie for followers.

Toward the end of our relationship, his media presence raised some red flags. Once we finally knew one another’s handles, I noticed that he posted images of him places he told me he had never been before. (Huge red flag, I know!).

Our relationship ended due to his social media relationship with someone who didn’t even live in the same country. Their timelines were pinging with back-and-forth flirting and sexual innuendos. The girl’s profile bio read: My heart belongs to (insert my ex’s handle here).

I called him up and told him what I'd seen. It wasn’t like he could deny anything. When I asked why he didn’t just break up with me, he said, “I don’t like confrontation.”

Fast forward to a recent night out with a close friend. We were having a few drinks and discussing men (past, present and future) as usual. I got home with a buzz and decide to do some cyber stalking. I looked up several past crushes, ex-lovers, and old flings. That’s when I came across the photo of me laying on my stomach with my ex’s hand in a position that suggests he is grabbing my butt.

Social media stalking: Sometimes it’s helpful, sometimes it hurts.

Social media stalking: Sometimes it’s helpful, sometimes it hurts.

I remember when and where the photo was taken. It was three months into our relationship and the day after my birthday. We stayed at one of my favorite hotels that weekend. My plan was simply to enjoy some down time with my boyfriend. Unbeknownst to me, his plan was to cater to his online followers by snapping photos and staying in the loop with the latest hashtags. 

Thinking back, it seems like most of what he did online was to gain some sort of online popularity. He was so hungry for it. Many of his photos were over-the-top and overanalyzed. He was always showing something off without trying to show it off. Like the girls who take pictures wearing nothing but a bra and underwear and caption the photo “loving this new shade of lipstick.” 

As surprising as it was for me to come across a photo of my body long after a break up from the attention-seeking fool I used to date, I wasn’t completely surprised by the fact that he put the photo up with the caption "#hotelparty … bout to switch to Esurance.” (In the original image you can see that there is an Esurance commercial on the television in the background.)

He did it for likes and retweets, but got none.

He did it for likes and retweets, but got none.

So not only did he try to ignore the fact that his ex-girlfriend is half-naked in a picture he just posted on a very popular site where he has plenty of followers, he posted it months after our break-up on a night that I am assuming he literally had nothing better to do because he damn sure wasn’t with me at a “hotel party.”

I wondered if I should reach out to him and say something about it, but I never did. Maybe he never thought I would see it. Maybe the idea of gaining a like or a follower at the expense of my nearly naked body was worth it to him. It makes me wonder (and sometimes feel sad) about the things we’ll do for attention.

Oh, and with further stalking I found out he is no longer with the girl from Canada that he was cheating on me with. Let's hope she didn't send him any naked photos of her.