My mother shined her headlights on the body, but he didn't budge. My stepmom called 911.
If you’re anything like me, you spent the weekend of June 12 sitting in front of your Netflix binging on Orange is the New Black. Like anyone else who watched OITNB on marathon and was inspired by Piper’s entrepreneurial spirit (SPOILER! Cover your eyes if you haven’t seen the season yet!), you probably did some serious Google searches on selling your panties online. Oh wait, just me?
While Piper seems to make some serious cash selling panties online, in the real world of panty selling, it seems to be a bit more difficult and dog-eat-dog than that. eBay expressly no longer allows the selling of worn intimate items (squash our fun!) so buyers turn to places like Reddit or other subforums where women sell their wares.
Those who are selling their panties don’t just put up a picture of their panties or say “Hey, panties for sale!” (which makes me wonder exactly how Piper was attracting all of that attention online without access to the Internet or a camera…). They have to go the extra mile. This means taking pictures in said panties in provocative poses and even sending masturbating videos to their buyers.
I wasn’t too keen on that, so I thought I would let my dream of making a quick buck shilling my used panties go. Until I discovered something far less innocuous: selling used socks and shoes on eBay.
I quickly found there was a market for used socks and shoes (for both men and women, surprisingly) and some were selling for as much as $50 a pop. Already in the mood for some spring cleaning and contemplating tossing some old pairs of shoes that would be too worn out to donate, I decided t0 see if I could turn a profit.
I started with a pair of socks after seeing a woman sell hers online for £20. £20!
The photos I saw that seemed to be selling well were those with a low listing price and showing some toe. The little stocking-lets seemed to be the most popular as people could ogle the foot goodies. (Caveat: I don’t really GET foot fetishes, but I know they are pretty prevalent.)
Not having any of those in my possession, I decided to clean out my sock drawer by selling used gym socks.
eBay can be pretty strict about the selling of used garments, so when you’re selling used socks, you have to play by their rules and pretend you’re not really selling to a fetish market, when you totally actually are.
In the first instance, I added a photo of my bare toes in addition to the socks. After all, my mom always told me I had nice feet. Apparently, the foot fetishists agreed and soon I had a ton of watchers on my £0.99 used gym socks. eBay, however, had other ideas and took down my listing, claiming that my bare feet were adult material. ADULT MATERIAL!
Disheartened, I sucked it up and listed again with just my socks. By this time, I had told my boyfriend what I was doing and he thought it was hilarious (I am in the process of trying to get him to sell his old work shoes that have a hole in them, but I digress) and started coaching me on how to sexily pose my feet.
Mind you, my boyfriend has the opposite of a foot fetish and only rubbed my feet once in our two years together, when I was in the hospital after I had my appendix out.
My socks sold for a staggering $1.58 (one British pound), which wasn’t near as much as the lady with the stockings, but 1.58 for a pair of socks I would have thrown out anyway is better than nothing.
I then decided to expand my enterprise into shoes when I noticed the nude flats I often wore to work were developing a hole in them. As a newfound commuter, I wanted to buy some smart but comfortable shoes to replace them, so I decided I could sell them online for some extra cash. I also included a pair of wedges that were falling apart and some sandals that had a lot of wear in them.
Apparently, the market for shoes (especially if your toes are visible) is much bigger. As soon as I posted the three pairs, comments and “questions” (or people telling you how sexy your feet are disguised as a “question”) rolled in. I jokingly reminded my boyfriend that someone would pay a premium to look at my feet, even though he finds them less than a cause of celebration.
Firstly, one guy wanted to know if I could add some white stains to my shoes. Naively, I thought he wanted me to scuff them up a bit, so I said I would be able to. My boyfriend, more versed in the ways of the male mind, suggested he probably meant jizz, though I couldn’t fathom why anyone would want someone else’s jizz on my shoes.
So I asked for clarification. Turns out, he did want dried jizz all over my shoes, so that was one buyer shut down right off the bat.
Then, there was the guy who wasn’t really interested in buying my shoes but wanted to just talk about my feet. At first, I was pretty nice to him and just gave him simple “Thank yous” here and there. I mean, you have to be nice to a potential customer!
After he called me a “Pretty honeybee with beautiful pink toes (sic),” I regressed to sending him a smiley face. I mean…dude. Move it or lose it! Place a bid or jog on! He responded telling me the smiley face had encouraged him to fantasize even further about my feet and photoshopped these two beauties.
At this moment in time, there are a couple of days left on my shoes and there are several bidders. It looks like I may make out like a bandit for a couple of pairs of shoes I would have tossed anyway. And maybe I can treat myself to some nicer shoes than I was planning in the first place. It is what the foot fetish men would have wanted.TIPS IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING SELLING USED SOCKS AND SHOES ON EBAY:
1) If you are selling used socks or stockings, you must say that you will clean them in accordance to eBay policy before they are sent out. Of course, foot fetishists don’t want them cleaned, but you need to give eBay a wink and a smile.
2) Set the price low and watch it rise. $0.99 or £0.99 is a good starting point. The socks and shoes with higher starting prices seem not to sell so well or at all.
3) Toes are money. While a bare foot is considered “adult material” by eBay’s policy, there are creative ways of showcasing them.
4) Keywords are everything. People are looking for specific keywords like “trashed,” “well-worn” and “used.” Steer clear of “smelly” or anything to make eBay “think” (even though I’m sure they know!) you’re selling fetish material.
5) Have fun!