This pic was actually a huge deal for me. HUGE. It’s the first time I have ever been in a 2 piece as an adult. 2 years ago I had weight loss surgery. I lost 170 lbs through a lot of working out, eating correctly and sheer determination.
I lost the weight and still hated my body. Epic failure. That huge stomach was now like a deflated bag of skin with odd pockets of stubborn fat. I didn’t think I could show it in public. Now after working my ass off to lose 170lbs to weight 175lbs I still felt like in order to show anyone this body I would have to get plastic surgery.
Lesson learned? Even “skinny” people have body issues. As a long term fatty, I had no idea. I still would have had the surgery, because I feel more like myself now then I did when I was big. But when I was 360lbs, telling me that id have some skin issues didn’t phase me as long as I was under 200lbs. In the mystical, magical onederland. (being 100 plus something lbs. the goal many, many, many of us post bariatric patients strive for)
Then I started doing crossfit and I learned to start appreciating my body for what I can make it do instead of how it looks. I might have a lot of extra skin on my stomach, arms, thighs, even my under chin has a turkey waddle. But now instead of hating all that skin, I can say, OK I have skin but I can also deadlift 200lbs, benchpress 100lbs, run 3 miles at a go (slowly, but still…) and do all sorts of things that people even skinner then me cant do.
I wore a 2 piece and didn’t give a shit that I didn’t have a perfect body doing it. I realized that I can wear a 2 piece for comfort and ease and it not be about sexualizing my body for the gaze of all to see. It could be about me and me alone.
Accepting that I don’t have to be sexually pleasing at all times with my bare skin was something that took years and years of overcoming self hatred, losing weight, gaining self love. I certainly spend time still hating the skin. And thinking it looks awful. But at least I can say, F*ck it im gonna go lift something now.