Feminism Is Ruining Everything

No really though, feminists, you’re to blame for the utter destruction of society, and it’s time for normal women to start fighting back. That fight starts with gender essentialism, so it should be pretty easy!

Nov 26, 2012 at 2:30pm | Leave a comment

Ladies, are you struggling to find your role in life? Longing for a meaningful relationship and frustrated by the dearth of marriageable men? (You’re all straight, ladies, admit it.) Wondering how society has gone so wrong? Wishing you could go back to the days of yore, a simpler society, one where you could live in harmony and peace with men rather than being constantly at war with them?

Suzanne Venker has the solution to your problems: “Surrender to [your] nature -- your femininity.” You see, you’ve been living a big lie ever since the 1970s, when those horrible feminists appeared and started agitating. They weren’t interested in gender equality, you know; they wanted to blame men for everything, and you silly little geese totally bought into it! You’ve become angry and defensive, and you view men as the enemy instead of the natural leaders of society!

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Feminism has become an international plague encouraging otherwise reasonable women to engage in defacement of public property with political slogans. Photo credit: Pete

You’re making men “pissed off” and “tired” with your petty gender politics, women, and you really need to stop it, because you’re ripping the fabric of society to shreds. There would be no battle of the sexes if you would just chill out and stop competing with men, trying to steal their birthright as providers for the family and rulers of the home. This is all your fault, because you’ve been deluded by feminism into doing things like going to work and getting college degrees.

Thanks to you, “women aren’t women anymore,” and men are over it. Feminists have taught them that they don’t have to buy the cow when they can get the milk for free. Men can “have sex at hello and live with their girlfriends with no responsibilities whatsoever” all because of feminism. THANKS, FEMINISM. Next thing you’ll be ruining is PARENTING.

Oh, wait, “All the articles and books (and television programs, for that matter) put women front and center, while men and children sit in the back seat.” There's a reason men shouldn't date feminists. It's walking directly into the belly of the beast. 

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This woman thinks she can wear pants because of feminism. Photo Credit: Archibald Ballantine.

No, really though, feminists, you’re to blame for the utter destruction of society, and it’s time for normal women to start fighting back. That fight starts with gender essentialism, so it should be pretty easy! Just, you know, be yourself; that is to say, give in to the pressures of nature that push you to be a submissive nurturer, a sweet, gentle, tender woman who happily gives of herself rather than trying to take like those pushy feminists do. You have inborn feminine tendencies, and you need to let them express instead of trying to squash them down in some sort of pathetic attempt to be just like a man.

What’s that, you say? All this stuff about biological imperatives is more complex than I’m making it out to be? Nonsense. Everyone knows that science says men and women are distinctly different, with inborn, hardwired impulses that are twisted and warped by society (and feminists). If we could just let them naturally express, allowing men to be men and women to be women, everyone could breathe so much easier.

This stuff is in our DNA, people! Right there in the Y chromosome! If you squint really hard, you can totally see it. Nope, just a little to the right...up...good, see the “biological imperative” section now? How can you deny that, now that you’ve laid your very own eyes upon it? More importantly, how can you possibly stand against it, knowing that it’s there, and all men want to do is love you and take care of you and snuggle you forever and ever?

I mean, let’s take a look at some of the damage feminism has wrought. Record numbers of women are in the workforce, and they’re also taking the majority of college degrees right out of the hands of men who just want to make themselves self-sufficient so they can care for their families. Women are making unreasonable demands like equal pay for equal work, and they’ve pushed through a tide of unnecessary legislation that supposedly “protects them from discrimination” and allows them to do things like suing employers and supervisors for harmless jokes at work. They expect access to a whole fleet of health care services which aren’t necessary, because their role is to be pregnant and in the home, not independent and working.

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Extremist feminist rhetoric is everywhere. Photo credit: Julie Jordan Scott

It’s not just that. Feminists have even suggested that some of the cultural and social attitudes about women are damaging. They make a lot of noise about “rape culture” and seem to suggest that men are to blame for sexual assault and violence against women, which is utter hogwash. Feminists refuse to accept that women are responsible for their position in society, and that if they would just settle down and get back in their place, all of these problems would be over.

Just think about it, ladies. Have a problem with workplace discrimination? Try NOT GOING TO WORK. Easy-peasy. Think society is sexist? Maybe if you didn’t have your fancypants college degree, you’d stop overthinking everything. Believe you need birth control and abortion services? Why? Because you’re a SLUT? Opposed to violence against women? Help put women back in their proper social roles so men don’t have to be so pissed off!

Thanks to people like Venker, we can all get to the root of the real problems with society. Women can stop worrying their pretty little heads about “sexism” and “discrimination” and focus on the important things in life: getting back in touch with their womanliness, and making themselves appealing brides for a generation of men that finds itself adrift in a world with undefined gender roles, overreaching women, and neglected children left to languish by the wayside while feminists trample to Planned Parenthood for the 2-for-1 abortion discount.