What is a time of joy for many women was my darkest hour.
It's day one of self-imposed sugar deprivation and it's actually going better than I expected. My hands are shaking again, which makes this whole thing seem way more "Requiem for a Dream" than a pastry withdrawal rightly should.
I did take the "Sugar Addict" book's advice on having a lot of protein and got scrambled eggs and sausage links for breakfast, which I think is helping, although I felt displeased by the Weight Watchers points on the sausage. Perhaps I should try to do one thing at a time? Just kidding! What am I, a nutritionist?
Also, somebody probably should have told me that there's sugar in everything. It's the third ingredient in Special K, and my Smart Ones vegetable lasagna has 12 grams of it. And it's in other things that I am very deliberately and carefully not knowing about like pizza sauce. Do not tell me about pizza sauce, please.
And that's not even getting into the "bad carbs" that convert to sugar in your blood stream and make you just as nuts as birthday cake.
But for today I'm not going to worry so much about that stuff and just focus on not eating dessert and dessert-like items even though I know that biting into one would feel like floating away on a pillowy cloud of chemically-induced happiness. Because the scientists who create our food out of delicious molecules and crack rock know what they are doing, man. They went to school for this.
(I really want some birthday cake.)
UPDATE: It's about 4:00 p.m. and I'm crashing pretty hard. Have a slight headache, my neck and shoulders feel stiff and painful, and just generally have that overall blergh-iness you get a few days before you come down with the flu. Why, sugar, when all I ever did was love you?