There’s a new organic market near my house now and it actually hurts my feelings, because I can buy decent produce, interesting beer and fancy cheese, which honestly is probably enough for me to live on, but if I try to shop for anything more involved it all skews health foody. You can’t just get a box of pasta there -- it has to be sprouted spelt this or gluten-free that or in some way Better For You than just regular pasta. One time I thought they were selling cupcakes and I got all surprised/excited and they turned out to be raw vegan cupcakes.
It’s not that health food necessarily tastes bad. Maybe raw vegan cupcakes are delicious, I don’t know their life. It’s that food is shrouded in so much moralizing that the raw vegan cupcake seems to look sternly at you and say, “Oh, you wanted a cupcake, eh, you glutton? Well you got ME, and I’m the most you’re allowed, and frankly if I were you I’d put me right back in the cooler, Piggy McTrotters.”
However! When I heard rumors that you could make fake ice cream by just throwing frozen bananas in a blender, I had to try it out. The reasons for this are several:
2) I do actually like it when things are good for you, I just get kind of irritated when they’re all masturbatory about how healthy they are;
3) A bunch of bananas costs like half as much as a thing of Ben & Jerry’s;
4) I am extremely lazy about cooking, so I get really excited about foods that involve one ingredient and one step.
Truth be told it was mainly the last one.
Who knew frozen bananas turned all creamy when blended? It’s like some kind of custard fairy hid ice cream inside this humble fruit back in the early days of its domestication, which humans could only extract once they’d invented freezers and Cuisinarts and the concept of “ice cream.” Am I waxing a little poetical? Sorry, it’s a banana high.
Now, there’s no way this has to be Health Food, which is why I like it -- it’s awesome in and of itself, and also happens to be full of potassium and what have you. But you could totally put some dark chocolate shavings or mini-chips on there and it would be phenomenal. I’m doing that next time.
When he tasted it, my husband said “Wow, I assumed people only liked this because they’d forgotten what ice cream tastes like.” A friend on Facebook said her nutritionist had told her it would work, and she’d figured it was a big lie.