Would I have to start planning outfits around the tattoo like I plan for weather?
When I was a chubby teen, most of my trips to the mall with my mom ended in tears because nothing fit me. This was the height of popularity of a store called 5-7-9, for god's sake. Because those were the only sizes they carried. (In retrospect, those aren't even real sizes, STORE.)
I think that's how we initially got into thrift shopping. It's not always easy to find plus sizes at thrift stores either, but as opposed to in retail, I could almost always find something that fit me. Plus my mom and I both discovered we like the thrill of the hunt, combing through junk in search of treasure. I once found a girl-cut Rocky Horror Picture Show logo shirt that fit me and lovingly stroked it the whole way home like it was going to disappear.
When I was a little older, I got into collecting weird celebrity autobiographies I found at the thrift store. Anne Heche's "Call Me Crazy," Amy Fisher's "My Story," "Great Big Beautiful Doll," the Anna Nicole Smith story.
My mom still sends me one she stumbles across on occasion, along with little signs exhorting me to love myself through "thick and thin." (Her thrift store heroin is inspirational diet and body decor.)
Anyway, turns out Deer Hoof enjoys a good thrift store or flea market as much as the next dude who's perfect for me, so my thrifting spirit has been sort of reignited as of late and I have made some awesomely strange purchases. Probably my favorite is the little Girls Only!!! desk sign that is almost worth cleaning my epic garbage desk for. Right now it's sitting on my home desk, which is spotless because I never ever use it. Laptop on my lap on the couch FTW.
The rest of the non-clothing haul from that day was pretty good, too.
Weirdly, at this same thrift store where we found the dog lamp, we discovered a strange cache of framed photographs of Amy Schumer.
A few of them are obviously shots from on set, but then there is one with Parker Posey and another with Gloria Steinem. What is going on here?! Did Amy donate these herself? Did a crazed fan move on? It's one of the strangest things I've ever stumbled upon at a secondhand shop, and that's saying something.
A few days later, I discovered this framed photograph, which I proudly purchased for $9.99. I call her "Maureen" and she hates having her picture taken.
So it's IMPORTANT WEEKEND QUESTION TIME: What's your best or weirdest thrift score, clothing or otherwise? Or just help me fill in Maureen's back story. Recently divorced, I'm thinking.