If you're a teenager who is reading this site instead of smoking the weed out of coke cans behind the Taco Bell and going to rainbow parties, then you're probably gearing up for prom. We, the wizened old crones of xoJane, have already done that shit.
Don't believe us? We've got pictures to prove it. Also, why are you so distrustful? Behold: The xoJane Prom Roundup.
Emily: Here I am in pretty much the only dress in our town that fit me. I think it was a size 26. The guy was my boyfriend, but he'd broken up with me like a week before the prom. I made him take me anyway. He was an adult man, so I think he felt a little awkward about it.
We only stayed for like 3o minutes and then I went to a house party where I had sex with a different dude. Did I mention it was also my birthday (May 12)? I really only went to prom because I thought I would regret it if I didn't have the experience, but in retrospect I wouldn't have cared.
Jane: I was late (what else is new?) in asking the guy I was going to ask (hi, Andy Morton!), so he was taken and I went with his friend instead. I borrowed a bright blue tube-top sundress from my dormmate. It matched my neon-bright-blue inner-eye liner. The prom was in a castle or some rented estate. It was fancy with marble floors and we took a bus there. I am sure there was drinking and pot-smoking, but I didn't partake much. My feet hurt and I checked my makeup in the bathroom like 23 times. I assume someone took pictures but I didn't keep any. This picture is from a couple of months later at my graduation, same blue color on my dress, same eyeliner. I was addicted to make-up.
Madeline: I was actually on the prom committee and chose the spot where we had prom -- Bridgewaters at the South Street Seaport. It was a pretty good night, with only a few minor snafus. We went to my friend Kira's house to pre-game and take pictures, and when we got to actual prom my parents were there to take pictures. I had gotten kind of drunk and forgot I'd have to see them again that night. We had a pool party in the Hamptons after. I still have my dress and wear it occasionally.
Bryan: Even though I was highly homosexual I did manage to attend 4 different prom's during high school -- with girls. The two proms I attended at my high school I went with the same gorgeous girl two years in a row, Laura. This was from my Senior Prom. I remember a lot of champagne, malibu rum and sticking our heads out of the moon roof of the limo like dogs at the end of the night. I had an odd "racing stripe" shaved into the side of my head and, although you cannot see it in this picture I sported an earring or two and my tux jacket was the "Michael Jordan" style which only went to my waist. I was thought I was tragically hip for 1993, but looking back, I was mostly just tragic.
Lesley: I was FAR too cool for the prom. I went to see the local band of the guy I had a crush on play instead. I think I showed up at one of my girlfriends' afterparties and everyone was drunk and passed out. I felt pretty good about my decision.
Hannah: I never went to prom, I dropped out of school and graduated through correspondence learning instead. However, I still wanted the experience of dressing up and going out, so I went to a Patrick Wolf concert. I got dressed up in a Marie Antoinette-inspired outfit (I looked CRAZY but I was a teenager so whatever), and had an awesome time, jumping up on the stage at the end and dancing around. After the show, I got the chance to meet Patrick and told him the show had basically been my prom. He said he'd never gone to prom either and we decided we were each others' prom dates (I was freaking out inside). A bit later he came out from the concert venue and presented me with a tin wind-up goose (that still sits on my bookshelf) and told me it was my "prom present." Pretty damn good for a non-prom.
Helena: The year was 1998. Our song was "Too Close" by Next. I was co-captain of the cheerleading squad and he (not pictured) was the starting quarter back of the football team. But don't get too excited. Earl (yes, girl) was MUCH shorter than me and he had a girlfriend who went to another school.
After harboring a gut wrenching not-so-secret crush for most of senior year, I got word that Earl's girl wasn't going to our school's prom because of some technicality and being the most popular guy at school he had to go to Prom. So I turned down two asks on the off chance that Earl, who'd starred opposite me in our school's version of "Arsenic and Old Lace," would come to his senses and ask me already. He didn't. So high off of a tall boy of peach-flavored Arizona Iced Tea, I asked Earl one lunch period to "go to Prom with me or not, whatever" and a week later he gave me his answer.
He picked me up in his mom's white BMW. When we didn't win King and Queen, he looked at me and said, "You were robbed." I died. Earl dropped me off the next morning with my virginity intact (we watched "Grease" all night) and gave me a sincere kiss on the cheek. It was the effing night of my life.
Julie: This picture was taken at the painfully frumpy Stamford Connecticut Marriott. We left shortly after to sneak into "the city" and go to Green Room (does that place still exist?) and get drunk. I went with Clayton because my older boyfriend didn't feel like being the prom pedophile. I wore a slutty D&G slip dress.
Julieanne: I went stag, wore a mink dress from the 20s, got drunk on the lawn of a house party alone while all my friends hooked up with their dates. My friend's mom made me a bowl of hashbrowns to sober me up and I walked home in five-inch heels.