I Want to Show Natalie How Hip I Am By Recommending a Lot of Cool Insidery Places in New York -- Help?

I am in fully in love with Natalie (and her adorable, funny boyfriend Chris) who both visited the xoJane office for the first time today. Help me seem knowledgeable and recommend the best spots in NYC?

Mar 22, 2013 at 5:31pm | Leave a comment

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Natalie Natalie Natalie Natalie

LOOK IT'S NATALIE! My favorite.

She was in the elevator today with me (sorry, "the lift") with her stupid-adorable boyfriend Chris, and I escorted them into the xoJane office and yelled, "Natalie's here!"

Then, as you can see in the video above, she showered us in presents from London that involve snacking, and took awesome pictures making what I am now referring to as "doing the Natalie."

Look how much better she looks in the picture than me, simply by doing the Natalie! I wanted to tell her places to see celebrities in New York and kind of cool inside tricks or the latest hip place folks are going to, but I decided you guys would know better than me.

Here are a few spots I came up with. What suggestions do you have?

1. Intern Felicia suggested Whitman's for their Juicy Lucy, which is a hamburger stuffed with cheese and oozes cheese, along with their fried pickles and their standard dessert of milk and cookies.

2. Waverly Inn. Still the only place I've seen Gwyneth Paltrow, Paul Rudd and Harvey Weinstein all in one night. Also where I met a busboy who fingered me in the ass. Warning: NOT ON THE MENU. Do not try to "order."

3. Cabin. The Strokes place. Super hip. Hard to get into. Cool people go there. Whatever.

4. The View. Free before 8. (Or it used to be.) Just get a cocktail and check out the view. Get it? The View. Yeah.

5. The Lion. It's kind of the new Waverly from what I've heard. Hip investors. I think Oprah has eaten there. Whatever. There's a lot of celebrities and shit. I like the food. It's fancy. Ish.

6. The bar on top of the Time Hotel. I had sex with an Australian guy I met there once so I saw the rooms. It was nice. It's a great rooftop bar. See if you can find that Australian guy. WAIT DON'T YOUR BOYFRIEND IS GREAT, NATALIE. (Update: The Web site also shows you the rooms. YOU DO NOT NEED TO HAVE SEX WITH THE AUSTRALIAN GUY.)

7. Jane's new assistant Lori recommended this little speakeasy place called ECC. Lori is the shit. GO there.

8. I guess Beatrice is open again. So Olivia says. Neat. Go there. (Olivia says it's like the Waverly was a while back. Hard to get into, etc.)

That's all I got.

WHAT SHOULD NATALIE DO?

WHERE SHOULD SHE GO?

HELP NATALIE! You're her only hope.

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Posted in Fun, New York, tourism