Would I have to start planning outfits around the tattoo like I plan for weather?
A few days ago I was writing in a coffee shop. The coffee was fresh, there were lots of other people tapping on their laptops (one of my favorite sounds to work by), and the words were a-flowin'. I was so happy.
At one point I noticed two women come in, one with a baby, and sit at a nearby table. They were in my line of sight, I noticed them, then went back to work.
I don't know about you, but when I'm deep in thought, trying to formulate the next sentence or, you know, think of ANOTHER synonym for "creepy" (#CreepyCornerProblems), I stare off into space. The Resting Bitch Face rears her mighty head, and I'm in the zone. I have no problem with this — the RBF is cozy like a sweater.
My head must have been facing the general direction of the lady and her baby (I was seeing nothing but words in that moment), when cutting through my reverie I heard a British accented, "baby-talking" voice loudly say, "I know, she can't even crack a smile at you!"
I reconnected my brain to my eyeballs just in time to see The Mommy looking right at me. Her baby blinked and gurgled. It was actually a pretty cute baby, BUT THERE WAS NO WAY I WAS TELLING HER THAT NOW.
I was so befuddled over the ridiculousness of the whole situation that I just doubled down on my RBF and stared back at her all soulless-like. She made a straight line with her mouth (WHAT?! NO SMILE FOR YOUR BABY?) and turned back to her mocha or whatever.
Was this for real? Had this woman just attempted to "shame" me for not SMILING AT HER BABY? In my daze had I accidentally been staring at her baby? Was I being creepy? (Er...spooky...uh, unsettling... uh... alarming... synonyms!!!)
Even so, she didn't know me, I didn't know her, I didn't owe her or her baby anything.
I really thought this was just the stuff of the STFU Parents blog.
Has anyone ever tried to "shame" you for not losing your shit over their baby? Has someone ever insisted you "smile at the baby"? Has something like my coffee shop encounter ever happened to you?