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Sassy Nostalgia Corner: Funny Old Ads Edition
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WTF I do NOT love the Dutch Paint Boy, and what do my parents have to do with anything? That little boy is creeping me out and he looks like he's 5...
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What kind of boutique does this advertise? One that sells bridal gowns to help you bang a sailor, and also witch dresses for when you're no longer a virgin?
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This is the first of many lady Canadian Tuxedos. Get excited.
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One way to have beautiful skin: Rip your face off.
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Handcuff bracelet watch. That's really all there is to say about this one.
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YES! Fake socks to make it look like I am wearing three pairs of socks! This is what I always wanted to blow my allowance on. ALSO, if you look closely they suggest you can wear them in your hair! Everybody loves a two-fer! [I actually find these quite a practical way to acheive this look, which I used to sport (though not in these color combos!), without bulking up and making your shoes too tight.
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Recorded secrets from Vanilla Ice for two bones/minute? Sign.me.up.
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SOOOO WRONG ON SEVERAL DIFFERENT LEVELS.
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Oh Paul and your shadowy stare...
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If I was 15, it was the late-80s, and I watched soaps...I would buy this. I'm sorry but I would!
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This guy is so dreamy...AND has a keen sense of smell.
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I have a chance go get a phonecall from my favorite soap stars?!? Lets do this "Daytime Hottest Fan Club."
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Hey guys, let's eat fries and look like batty-denim-birds.
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"Butt bows"
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This one is so sad.
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Too many innuendos in this one.
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WHAT do you think this smelled like? Hot Southern Passion? Slavery?
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AND another offensive beauty product.
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Not sure this would fly in a post-9/11 world.
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'Scuse me while I epilate on the phone upside-down in my kewl room.
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And more denim, Three different shades to be exact. Count em'.
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Environmentalism has come a long way.
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Hah! She said "diapers."
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How much would you pay per min to talk to Jane?
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Have you noticed the word lousy has really fallen out of favor?
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Please take note of the "Insult me and Win!" ad. What is this?
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Amber: Was I the only one listening? I thought it reeked!
Cher: No, I believe that's your Designer Imposter perfume.
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Icy Blu, where are you noooow?
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This one kinda makes me sad because of how much I love old people.
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There is a beautiful love story behind every hair product. Aw.

