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Sassy Nostalgia Corner: Funny Old Ads Edition

We have a bunch of back issues of Sassy here in the office and sometimes we get a little nostalgic. In this edition, we'll revisit a time when ads were blatantly offensive, denim was taken to new heights and you could talk to Jane Pratt for a dollar a minute.  [I'm not going to comment here because I remember helping sell each of these ads and, as cheesy or offensive as they were, we saw it as part of the greater good that kept Sassy alive -- for a time. I did make them put all the diet and get-a-boyfriend ones in what we called the  "back of book" though. Isn't industry lingo ridiculous? Why do we call magazines "books"?  They're magazines! ]

Madeline

Sep 14, 2011 at 12:00pm | 124 comments

  • WTF I do NOT love the Dutch Paint Boy, and what do my parents have to do with anything? That little boy is creeping me out and he looks like he's 5...

  • What kind of boutique does this advertise? One that sells bridal gowns to help you bang a sailor, and also witch dresses for when you're no longer a virgin? 

  • This is the first of many lady Canadian Tuxedos. Get excited. 

  • One way to have beautiful skin: Rip your face off. 

  • Handcuff bracelet watch. That's really all there is to say about this one. 

  • YES! Fake socks to make it look like I am wearing three pairs of socks! This is what I always wanted to blow my allowance on. ALSO, if you look closely they suggest you can wear them in your hair! Everybody loves a two-fer! [I actually find these quite a practical way to acheive this look, which I used to sport (though not in these color combos!), without bulking up and making your shoes too tight.  ]

  • Recorded secrets from Vanilla Ice for two bones/minute? Sign.me.up. 

  • SOOOO WRONG ON SEVERAL DIFFERENT LEVELS. 

  • Oh Paul and your shadowy stare...

  • If I was 15, it was the late-80s, and I watched soaps...I would buy this. I'm sorry but I would! 

  • This guy is so dreamy...AND has a keen sense of smell. 

  • I have a chance go get a phonecall from my favorite soap stars?!?  Lets do this "Daytime Hottest Fan Club."

  • Hey guys, let's eat fries and look like batty-denim-birds. 

  • "Butt bows"

  • This one is so sad.

  • Too many innuendos in this one. 

  • WHAT do you think this smelled like?  Hot Southern Passion? Slavery?

  • AND another offensive beauty product. 

  • Not sure this would fly in a post-9/11 world.

  • 'Scuse me while I epilate on the phone upside-down in my kewl room. 

  • And more denim, Three different shades to be exact. Count em'. 

  • Environmentalism has come a long way. 

  • Hah! She said "diapers."

  • How much would you pay per min to talk to Jane?

  • Have you noticed the word lousy has really fallen out of favor?

  • Please take note of the "Insult me and Win!" ad. What is this?

  • Amber: Was I the only one listening? I thought it reeked!

    Cher: No, I believe that's your Designer Imposter perfume.

  • Icy Blu, where are you noooow?

  • This one kinda makes me sad because of how much I love old people.

  • There is a beautiful love story behind every hair product. Aw.