Would I have to start planning outfits around the tattoo like I plan for weather?
Looking for a Valentine’s Day card for your lover that’s a little less “earnest poem on a watercolor background” and a little more “blatant reference to blowjobs and spanking”? Look no further than Etsy! Here are 10 seriously sexy Valentines you definitely won’t find in the grocery store greeting card section…
1. Favorite Thing To Do $4 Etsy
2. I Want to sex you up $4 Etsy
3. Riding Lessons $4.50 Etsy
4. Genital Love $4 Etsy
5. Happy Fucking V-Day $4.25 Etsy
6. Spanking $4 Etsy
7. I Heart Your Penis $4.50 Etsy
8. I Wanna Blow You $5 Etsy
9. Nice Cock $4 Etsy
10. Get Naked $4 Etsy
Reprinted with permission from the Frisky. Want more?