Pick Out Your Horoscope in This Meant-to-Be-Fun and Probably Nothing Else Weekly Emoji Horoscope

Oh, the places you will go (this week).
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Dan
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Oh, the places you will go (this week).

In the past seven days I got even closer to the stars in order to reveal these now weekly emoji horoscopes. I took an elevator 100 stories into the sky, along with a deep breath (I am not afraid of heights, but I am terrified by the elevators-wh0-crush-people stories that seem to pop up on the Internet more and more everyday...and I share this with Marci, who is usually the one sending these stories to me). Still, the elevator ride to the top of One World Observatory leaves very little for those of us with elevator anxiety (not to be confused or compared to actual anxiety) to think about, because they play this fascinating video recounting the history of Manhattan as you make your way up:

I ended up here partly because this was the location of an event after work with free booze and I needed some free booze after work on a Thursday, as we all do. To make the deal even sweeter, One World Observatory (the tourist trap at One World Trade Center) is conveniently located across the street from the xoJane/Time Inc. offices. I would let you do the math of short walk + open bar, but I'm not sure it's necessary.

The event was celebrating the new collaboration between that Macy's brand INC International Concepts and the #FollowMeTo couple Murad and Nataly Osmann. If you've never seen their Instagram accounts (his/hers) that have garnered them over 4 million followers combined, the concept is simple. Murad photographs his (now) wife Nataly leading him by hand to some of the world's most iconic sights — approaching Christ the Redeemer in Rio, overlooking what I think is the Yamuna River at the back of the Taj Majal, even hanging slightly outside a helicopter in front of the Hollywood sign — the results being anything short of simple.

I too have been very lucky to travel around the world throughout my life, though I'd be bluffing if I said I've even been to 1/3 of the places that Murad and Nataly have seen at this point. Considering Macy's is paying them to show up for an event, I would say their Instagram celebrity has given them the ability to travel a little more than I have, but that doesn't change the fact that we share the same travel bug.

In fact, whether you like this as a segue to the actual horoscopes or not, travel is the one thing I always hope ends up in my horoscope here each week...some faint sign that I soon will be seeing the world through a new lens. I'm the type of the person who will hop on any type of plane (I don't particularly like 8-seaters, but I've done them) at a moment's notice.

My horoscope as a Cancer this week does not, sadly, include any sign of new future travel (besides that trip to Cuba I already mentioned last week), but it does include love, sex (we all know what the eggplant emoji means), dancing/celebration, a thermometer (I hope this will make sense more next week?) and a fat wad of cash, so it's nothing short of pleasing.

Now, particularly because it's taken me a while to get here, it's your turn to see what your week will hold. I wish you travel, though I'll be very jealous.

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What's the most exotic place you've ever traveled?
What Instagram accounts do you follow strictly for the photography?
Was your horoscope from last week spot-on or way off?