That One Drink With Only Three Ingredients

More isn't always better.
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Publish date:
July 9, 2016
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Tags:
wine, beer, coke, That One Drink, Three Ingredient Cocktails, Kalimotxo

Heyo party people, and welcome back to another fun and frothy installment of That One Drink. Last week we got patriotic and shared the boozy beverages that make us proud to be from our respective countries. The winner, brought to us by capoupascap, was uniquely American.

I love in Utah so definitely Polygamy Porter. Because A) it is delicious B) "why have just one?" and C) when the billboard company refused to let them advertise with them because they found their slogan and accompanying imagery "offensive" (see B) the owners shrugged and said, "We've exhibited worse taste than this." How do you get more American than that response?

How indeed?

I enjoy pretty much everything about this comment, and I really enjoy the Polygamy Porter label.

Unfortunately, one thing I was not able to enjoy was the Polygamy Porter itself, as I could not locate it anywhere in Portland, Oregon. This is obviously very sad, as it sounds quite good, based on the description from Wasatch Beers' website:

Why have just one?

Polygamy Porter is a smooth, chocolaty, easy-drinkin' brown porter that's more than a little naughty. Take some home to the wives!

Under "Food Pairings," it simply says, "Anything goes!"

Clever.

So even though I couldn't partake in this delicious, chocolatey elixir, I can still award capoupascap a trophy, and that trophy is "The Only Boy in Town" by the Magnetic Fields, as it is about one woman's struggle with monogamy, and thus seems tangentially related. (Really though, why have just one?)

Moving on.

Look, I am a very big fan of this craft cocktail revival/movement we are experiencing right now. I love fancy beverages that come in coupe glasses and have dashes of this and bar spoons of that. Spirit-forward drinks with one or more types of vermouth and aliquots of Benedictine are what my dreams are made of, but sometimes I just need something a little more simple.

Sometimes I want something with three ingredients (or fewer, because martinis) and sometimes I want something that doesn't require any real measuring. Last night, I was in such a mood. Actually, I was in a very specific teenage dirtbag kind of mood, and was having a hard time ordering a beverage that fit it.

"What would you like?" one of my favorite bartenders asked.

"I would like an alcohol."

"One unit of alcohol?"

"Yes. Also I have to write later so nothing too strong."

"Maybe alcohol and caffeine? Ooh! How about a kalimotxo?" he joked.

"Sold."

"Really?" (I think that because I usually order fancy cocktails, my bartenders are under the impression that I am fancy and not, in fact, a trash human.)

"Yes."

And so it was. If you have never had a kalimotxo, it is a mixture of red wine and coke, served over ice, primarily consumed by Spanish teens. It is delicious. I have long been a fan of the beverage, ever since I tried it many moons ago for an article on this very site. Here I am, back in the day, enjoying one:

Now, I know what you are thinking: "Claire. This is only two ingredients; you said the topic was three-ingredient cocktails."

So I did. Which is why I am going to let you in on my super secret kalimotxo twist: a splash of Fernet-Branca, which has a hint of mint and cools the mouth, making this already refreshing beverage even more refreshing.

And that is my new favorite three-ingredient liquid wonder: Coke + red wine + Fernet. Now I would like to know yours. Bonus points if you don't really measure.