RUBY SLIPPER SYNDROME: A Roundup of Glitterific Shoes For Fall
I have had a hell of a first 10 days back at work. The great news is I love my boss, the show is funny and well written, I love our actors, and I love my new wardrobe department crew. They are already performing miracles, saving lives and making my days easier.
The bad news is that I'm so out of practice at standing and walking (ok, running in the mall) 12-14 hours a day that I've given myself shin splints, aka the beginnings of tiny fractures in my leg bones. YEAH. Real cool.
The 16 racks of clothes behind me didn't walk themselves here. My aching shins carried them.
The most horrifying part of a shin splint diagnosis is that a huge portion of the treatment consists of wearing sensible shoes. I mean, I choose death, thanks very much. I AM WEARING FREAKING NEW BALANCE SNEAKERS in the photo above. The shame, the horror, it shall never be shown.
Let's move on from this horrible situation and talk about one of my favorite trends for fall, GLITTER SHOES! I'm talking caked on, sparkly, spangly little kid's craft glitter encrusted shoes. There is nothing I love more than a pair of shoes fit for an 8 year old. I will actually never get sick of glitter anything. I'd eat glitter for breakfast if I could. It's just such an instant mood-lifter.
If you are anything like me, a trip to your local Target for toilet paper and cat litter isn’t complete without a quick visit to the little girl’s shoe section to bemoan the fact that none of the cute glittery shoes come in your size.
Why are little kids and women with child-sized feet having all the fun? WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS?! This lack of wearable glittery shoes in my size has been a very big, very real life problem for me but FINALLY this fall, there are some awesome, glittery shoes out there for my adult size 10 boat feet! I have to think that Miu Miu started it with their current insanely beautiful line of glitter shoes.
Miu Miu glitter boots, $750.00.
Miu Miu glitter smoking slippers, $495.00.
Miu Miu silver oxfords, $650.00.
All of which are stunning, and none of which I can currently afford. Luckily there are some cheaper options out there. I searched around a bit and ended up buying myself what I thought were these sort-of Miu Miu knock off boots from Kohl’s:
Glitter ankle boots, $30.97.
But it turns out they are actually a pretty dead ringer for these Giuseppe Zanotti sparklers that are on sale for $537.00, marked down from $895.00!! (!!)
Giuseppe Zanotti glitter boots, $537.00.
SO CLOSE, right? This is why you'll never find me getting too up in arms over knockoffs -- they really are responsible for the democratization of fashion, making it easily accessible at all price points.
My dude hates my Kohl's glitter boots, but I think they are really cute. Plus they are comfortable as hell. What more could you ask of a shoe than to be cheap, sparkly, and comfy? (I don't think glitter shoes on a grown-ass woman with a house payment and a 401K are something a man is supposed to understand anyway.)
The lovely s.e. smith recommended these glitter boots to me when we were randomly chatting about some important topic that I of course turned into a conversation about shoes, because I am a dilettante of the highest order.
Glitter high heeled booties, $139.00.
Ruby red glitter wedge booties, $68.00.
Blue glitter flats, $49.99.
Glitter "smoking slipper", $85.00.
Gold glitter wedge sandal, $70.00.
Pink glitter flats, $94.00.
Black glitter top-siders, $80.00.
Gold glitter ankle boot, $79.16.
Handmade leather/glitter oxfords, about $312.00.
Glitter heel boot, $149.95.
Of course glitter DIY-ing a pair of shoes is about the easiest, most satisfying craft project there is. (I've actually successfully done it myself, and I have the crafting skill of a drunken octopus.)
Awesome glitter boot tutorial via Suite 707.
DIY rainbow glitter shoes via Media Scraphacker.
I've been so busy talking about glitter shoes that I didn't tell you the craziest news of all! I dropped by the Farmer's Market here in LA after taking my dogs for a hike on Saturday, and I ran into a whole crew of xoJaners just hanging out! These are real, actual Internet friends -- live and in the flesh.
It was the most insane coincidence ever, and so hilarious and fun. (Also, be sure to check out some of Marisa's heartwarming writing for ThePeach.com.)
This is one of the only photos in existence of me wearing gym clothes out in public with my dirty hair in a ponytail. So enjoy it at my expense, and more importantly, enjoy your week! I'll be hobbling through the mall in my running sneakers, so say hi if you see me. Us xoJaners are everywhere -- in the places you'd least expect, running things, gettin' shit done.