It's Engagement Season! First Throw Up, Then Buy A Ring Cozy

This is the greatest invention you probably never knew you needed.

Jan 30, 2014 at 9:00am | Leave a comment

Are you aware that winter is "engagement season"? Neither was I, but I guess it's a thing. A weird, gross thing, but a thing nonetheless. So it stands to reason that some of you reading this would now have some sort of engagement ring to flaunt about the office and post photos of everywhere.

But what about when you need to take that ring somewhere special? Like, say, scuba diving in the Maldives or skydiving over the Grand Canyon? What are you meant to do you do with your lovely ring? Just wear it and hope no harm comes to it? This is not the best plan -- you should obviously be putting that very special trinket in a Ring Cozy!

Not a koozie, mind you -- that's a uniquely Southern device specifically meant to keep your beer cold when you're boating.

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Left: improper boating form -- no koozie. Right: my BFF's stellar collection of koozies -- all imported from the great state of Louisiana.

The item I'm referring to is a Ring Cozy, a clever (if ridiculous) invention you never knew you needed, meant to keep your rock safe and under wraps when you're playing tennis at the country club with Muffy or working out with Dirk, your hot personal trainer.

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Ring Cozy, $10.00 each or 3/$28.00.

It's a small band of neoprene fabric that slides over your ring, keeping it on your finger and safe from scratches or dings while working or playing. It actually seems pretty useful if you have a special piece of jewelry you're afraid to wear during physical activity, because taking it off and stashing it somewhere (pocket or gym locker) is a surefire way to lose it.

The Ring Cozy even has a little peek-a-boo slit so you can view your stone while it's being protected. Do people really do that? Sit around and stare at their diamonds? I guess so. 

I'm pretty sure I'll never need this invention, as my dude has told me over and over again that he "doesn't believe in diamonds." I pointed out to him that diamonds do in fact exist, that they are physical items that one can see and feel and touch, very dissimilar to a magical unicorn, but he is unmoved.

He says they are artificially overvalued, and that trillions of carats of diamonds are sitting in vaults ready to flood the market at any time. That everyone has been brainwashed by the marketing genius of the diamond industry, to the point that it's practically a Ponzi scheme. I listened to all of this on one of our first dates, thinking to myself "I'm pretty sure I know why nobody has snatched this man up yet." What I actually said to him was, "That's cool. I still kind of want one."

The Ring Cozy comes in two colors, teal blue or ash grey, and is available in ring sizes 3-11. It retails for a measly $10.00, and is so simple and dumb that it's actually kind of genius. My mom lost the diamond out of her wedding ring when I was a small child and she hasn't stopped telling me the horror story about it ever since. If only she'd had a darn Ring Cozy!  

I'm on Twitter: @IveyAlison.