Grandmothers are generally known for their wisdom and warmth, their comforting ways and old-fashioned advice. At least in storybooks they are. Where did this come from? All grandmothers I've known have had sharp tongues and majorly tough opinions, or else a totally hands-off approach.
One of mine is even a bit freewheeling and cannot cook a damn thing except for, weirdly, deviled eggs. She is always getting speeding tickets and loves psychics and used to talk to me in a sincere way about wanting to live to be old enough that she could travel to another planet. (So much for the space program now, grandma.)
This grandmother and I had dinner last night. She had some advice for me. Here is a snippet of our conversation:
Grandma: You should get yourself a sugar daddy.
Grandma: Yeah, why not? I don’t see anything wrong with it.
Me: You know what that means?
Grandma: Yeah! Who cares. Maybe I shouldn’t be telling my granddaughter this?
Me: Um… Well, what am I supposed to give in return?
Grandma: Whatever you’re comfortable with.
Grandma: I really think it’s fine. Get a car out of him. So many men just want a pretty gal on their arm to go to dinner or an opening with.
Me: OK… But I have a real problem tolerating bullshit. I can’t stand crassness, misogyny, stupidity, or disrespect. And a lot of these men, that’s their deal.
Grandma: Can’t you put up with it for an hour? Just one hour?
Me: I guesssss…
Grandma: Just make sure they’re married. That way they have a reason why they can’t be around you, they have to go back to their wife, their family.
Me: How do I find these guys?
Grandma: They find you.
Anyone else get some wild wisdom from grandma?