I have been known to drunk tweet a depressing thing or two. It usually seems like a good (or at least cathartic) idea at the time, but it can also be embarrassing, and almost always invites a certain type of criticism from a certain subgroup of the population who find women expressing sadness on the internet distasteful.
I've been trying not to do it and instead just favorite and re-tweet the brilliantly dark and often uncomfortable material from the account @sosadtoday, which tackles fun subjects like anxiety, death, rejection, and the constant crushing pain of being alive.
I could go on forever and ever just embedding her tweets, but I'll let you click over to the actual account and find your own faves.
The account (which has over 300,000 followers) was anonymous until poet and real live human person, Melissa Broder revealed herself to be the dark mastermind behind it in an interview with Rolling Stone last year.
Now she has published a book of essays which embody the spirit of the Twitter account, though with with the benefit of a much higher character limit:
Melissa Broder always struggled with anxiety. In the fall of 2012, she went through a harrowing cycle of panic attacks and dread that wouldn't abate for months. So she began @sosadtoday, an anonymous Twitter feed that allowed her to express her darkest feelings, and which quickly gained a dedicated following. In SO SAD TODAY, Broder delves deeper into the existential themes she explores on Twitter, grappling with sex, death, love low self-esteem, addiction, and the drama of waiting for the universe to text you back. With insights as sharp as her humor, Broder explores--in prose that is both ballsy and beautiful, aggressively colloquial and achingly poetic--questions most of us are afraid to even acknowledge, let alone answer, in order to discover what it really means to be a person in this modern world.
There are people who deal with depression and anxiety by exposing themselves to brutal art and writing that mirrors the pain they're going through, and then there are those that try to distract themselves with happier things. Based on my enthusiasm for this account and book, you can probably guess which one I am. (I mean, I listen to sad bastard music even in the happiest of times, but still.)
For the haters that accuse Broder of wallowing in and glorifying mental illness, she has this to say:
I'm not the only fan of Broder's fucked up, on-and-offline musings. Roxanne Gay, Lena Dunham, Emma Roberts, and the band Best Coast have all expressed enthusiasm over Broder, her Twitter account, and her book.
I can't speak for all of Broder's fans but, for me, her appeal lies in the ability to take your ugliest, darkest, most critical thoughts you have about yourself and make them funny. Whether it is her intention or not, she lets you know that you are not the only one out there who may be struggling with feelings of anxiety and self-doubt, and I think that's valuable even if some find it distasteful. So yeah, I'll be reading the heck out of this, and I can't wait for it to fuck me up.