I woke up, and everything in my apartment was exactly as I had left it. The empty bag of Sun Chips was tossed jauntily onto my salt lamp like a terrible beret, my pants were in the middle of the floor making it appear as though I had been raptured, bottomless. The TV was still on from the night before (because sometimes — most of the time — I fall asleep watching true crime shows, no one is perfect, least of all me), but something in the air had changed absolutely. I walked over to my record player where I’d left out Iggy Pop’s "Lust For Life."
I thought about hitting the play button once again, but something in me rebelled even though "The Passenger" is pretty much one of my favorite tracks ever.
Then, like bolt of lightning from the heavens, it occurred to me. I threw open one of my bedroom windows and, ignoring the Jackson Pollock splash of pigeon poop coating the screen I bellowed, “YOU GUYS IT IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME THAT I LISTEN TO LADY MUSIC TODAY!”
I don’t know where the feeling came from, and I don’t know why, but this is not something new. Since the early days of my adolescence, there have always been spates of time wherein all I want to do is listen to some bitchin’ ladies sing about bitchin’ things in bitchin’ ways.
As a less-worldly youth, this meant inhaling primarily the musical stylings of Ani DiFranco, and while I cannot over recommend "Untouchable Face" as the be-all end-all in heart-breaking anger-laden righteous babe–type songs, my palate has expanded over the years to include tracks that aren’t strictly dedicated to telling people to fuck off — not that there’s anything wrong with that, to be clear. Here are five other bitchin’ ladies that you should be listening to right now.
Alyssa Robbins, "Ghost Town"
Let us discuss the splendor that is Alyssa Robbins and her new album. Our Time Was Here We Just Forgot to Be will warm and delight the cockles of your cold, cold hearts. I am biased, of course, because I am a major fan-girl who boasts of sharing a city (Brooklyn) with this lady singer. Robbins’s voice could kick the shit out of Emmy Lou Harris’s — not that I’m advocating girl-on-girl crime.
Because I am creepy-levels of into her, she has done me the good service of sharing the video for her track Ghost Town here with the listening public for the first time EVER! #suchexclusive #somusics. Rock with a Western sensibility and a music video featuring a keytar? YES. YES TO IT ALL.
Julia Weldon, "Meadow"
Uh. I can’t even. Is it — did it just get exceptionally hot in here? It did. BECAUSE THIS IS ONE OF THE SEXIEST SONGS I HAVE EVER HEARD. Whhhhy all of the sudden are my clothes off? Because Meadow from Julia Weldon seduced it right off of me. Which is weird. Because I am writing in a public place. If I am arrested, send sandwiches to the jail.
Soko, "I’ll Kill Her"
Let’s talk about why this song (and Soko) is the greatest. This mournful, catchy ballad perfectly captures that awful feeling of a relationship ending before it even gets the chance to start. BUT it’s not without humor and a passing desire to murder the person we believe to be responsible for our unhappiness. A GEM.
Jenny Owen Youngs, "Hot in Herre"
I am an abject sucker for a solid cover and they don’t get much more solid than this one. I am obsessed with her voice and if I were to star on some Shonda Rhimes–esque television drama where I was a race-car driver who couldn’t figure out love, this would be the song that played over the opening credits. Naturally.
Alix Olson, "Checking My Pulse"
This is the perfect song to put on repeat if you have met someone and are quietly optimistic about them. You aren’t thinking too much about the future, you’re just thinking about how much they make you giggle and how you could maybe spend a million hours touching their butt.