There's nothing I love better than a high concept television show, which is why I am extra excited for this new hospital drama on NBC, "Doctor Coma Ghost."
Okay, it isn't called "Doctor Coma Ghost," but it should be. I'll tell you why in a second. Its slave name is "Saving Hope" and it's about a sexy doctor who is betrothed to another sexy doctor but then they get hit by a car. So far so good, right? She's totally fine, but he goes into a coma. The rest of the show is about one doctor who's fine and one who's in a coma.
OK, doesn't sound that exciting. But STAY WITH ME!* He is somehow able to astrally project himself around the hospital while in the coma. I don't know if this makes him a ghost or an avatar or a shadow passing over the grave of my faith in the infinite creative potential of man.
So while his fiancee is doing typical doctor stuff like touching lives, he's like, wandering around the hospital.
Here are a COUPLE things I want to -- nay, NEED to -- know before I can watch the show with uninterrupted enjoyment.
- Does he ever watch other doctors change in the locker room?
- Will do that thing where he waves his hands in their faces and screams "Helloooooooooo!" before he realizes he is invisible? I love that!
- Will he eventually get bored and pretend to tweak the nipples of the living?
- I think the thing that bothers me about the helpful-ghost subgenre is the issue of clothing. You're telling me that the human soul can transcend its corporeal shackles but it has to wear a tuxedo forever? Why do so many helpful ghosts die in tuxedos? Will he change clothes? Where will he get the clothes? If he can touch his clothes why can't he take them off? Will they get dirty and smell? Does he pee? I don't think I particularly understand metaphysics.
- If you could watch somebody spongebathe your unconscious body, would you? Why, or why not?
- Does he watch the other doctors shower?
- Can ghosts get erections? Should they?
- Remember when NBC was like, "Maybe we will cancel 'Community'"?
- If you went up to Coma Ghost Doctor's body and kicked it square in the balls, would Coma Ghost Doctor feel it or just stand helplessly by while you repeatedly and horribly kicked him in the balls?
- OK, maybe the balls thing is unnecessarily mean. What if you drew a dick on his forehead? Would a tiny dick also appear on the forehead of his apparition?
- Why aren't there any Chinese food restaurants that will deliver to my house?
Here's the trailer for the show...
...and as long as we're having fun, here's a local news segment about a man who subpoenaed a police dog to testify in his drug case that I watched 20 times this morning.
"Saving Hope" premiers June 7th on NBC despite the fact that I continue to refuse to call it that.
*Which is also what his doctor fiancee probably screams at some point? I think it's going to be a big running theme for the show.