I just found out it's World Penguin Day and actualfax squealed, because I have kind of a serious Thing for penguins. I of course immediately emailed Emily to demand that we turn xoJane into a penguin-themed destination, and I was roundly smacked down, but she did agree to let me post a roundup of adorable penguin videos.
Because here's the thing: Penguins are really cute, and we've all been having a rough time lately, and I think we could use some cute animal videos. Am I right?
Let's start with one of my favorite penguin videos of all time: penguin tickling. In this video, you will see a penguin being tickled. Which doesn't sound very exciting, but the thing is, it makes the most amazing noises. And you're like, how can an animal that adorable make such ridiculous sounds. Answer: I don't know.
Penguins, while graceful, majestic, beautiful creatures, fuck up just like the rest of us. And when they do, it's hilarious. Prepare for...penguin bloopers.
In more serious news, here are Emperor Penguins launching themselves out of the water. I love penguins in general because they're so delightfully chubby, and there's something excellent about seeing chubsters throw their heart and soul into swimming as nature intended them to.
These penguins cannot decide what to do about their situation, and it is hilarious.
This baby penguin is meeting a human for the first time, and totally chillin'.
Penguin one dedicatedly collects the perfect rocks. Penguin two proceeds to steal them.
Penguins apparently prefer Southwest Airlines. Hopefully unlike me they don't vomit copiously all over the plane when someone wears heavy perfume. (Sorry, everyone on flight 1254 from OAK to MDW yesterday! (P.S. People, stop wearing heavy perfume.))
Remember that penguin collecting stones earlier? Well, now we know why. Because penguin sex work is a thing, and penguins take their pay in glorious glorious stones:
Penguins don't just fly Southwest: They also trade on the NYSE.
Finally, if you got fooled by the Beeb's 2008 April Fools prank, here's the making of video detailing their flying penguin stunt:
Credit for penguin posse photo: Antarctica Bound.