Some Initial Thoughts On Disney's Newest Princess, Sofia

Well, thank god she's not all bushy-eyebrowed like that butch bitch, Mulan.

Dec 14, 2011 at 1:00pm | Leave a comment

Disney just released a photo of their newest princess, and I, for one think it's pretty cool of them to introduce a second skilled-professional black woman in nearly 90 years of animation:


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Wait, nope. Sorry. "Sofia the First" is white and has buttloads of money. She also has a froofy dress and one of those invisible Bratz doll noses. She also appears to be a very young child wearing make-up?

Admittedly, I haven't seen this planned movie and TV series, because it does not yet exist, but hoo boy! I do not like the sound of this: "Sofia" is a young girl of modest means until her mom marries a rich king. What is the tagline here, "From the 99% to the 1%" ?

I mean, I realize I am being a little reactionary and knee-jerk, but OH DEAR. Oh talking deer, rather, because, yes, this show will also inevitably include those for merchandising purposes:


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Welp, at least she's doesn't have a head bigger than her waist. KIDDING! Her head: way bigger than her waist. OK, at least Disney didn't give a fatuous, insane,  statement to the New York Times about how you can have bling AND character:

Sofia will have “plenty of pretty dresses and sparkly shoes,” said Nancy Kanter, general manager for Disney Junior Worldwide, but episodes will teach viewers that “what makes a real princess is what’s inside, not what’s outside.”

Right, yes. It doesn't matter if you're rich and white on the outside, as long as you're rich and white within. But also on the outside. Right, yes, OK.

This blows because I like Ariel Winter, the nerdy young lady from "Modern Family" who will be providing voice acting, along with ... Tim Gunn and Wayne Brady. "Rainman" UH OOOOOOOH noise!

Let's please hope that Wayne Brady is her stepfather the king, and not a sassy talking deer that's always like, "WASSUP, SOFIA. Your new false eyelashes are looking flyyyyyyy." Also maybe Tim Gunn is the wise, Arthurian wizard-tutor who teaches her to love physics and not, say, the Royal Dressmaker or a sassy talking deer that's always like, "WASSUP GIRLFRIEND. Fly false eyelashes! Have you seen that fat bitch, Mulan today? What a fat bitch! Let's get scones."

I know it is Just a Children's Show, but it is another bobble-headed white girl with  cute animal friends (no more of these, please!!!) who gets jewelry from a rich dude. Uh, points to Disney for representing a blended family, though? You guys have a super good history with creating step parents who don't want to murder or enslave their children. Let's hope this all works out.