I am Not a Shopper, but I do have a sliiiiiiight problem with buying eye glasses. I have about thirty pairs, conservatively, that range in price from $3.99 to $I'm-Embarrassed-to-Say-How-Much.75 . I have an eBay alert set up for "vintage Paul Smith," I am a member of a Chinese designer knockoff club and I have my Mr. Magoovian prescription memorized. I have trouble seeing a film where somebody is wearing cool glasses without running off to Internet them. More often than not, they're vintage or otherwise out of circulation and I am left ocularly blueballed.So when I saw Moscot's Theroux glasses -- which are based on the ones Justin "Theroux" Theroux wore in "Mullholland Drive," seen above -- it was like some kind of sick, Clive Barker-y wish fulfullment scenario. I wanted those glasses when I saw that movie. And now I can buy them! You know, after I sell plasma or stumble on to some pirate gold.Hey, opticians and retailers? More reproductions! If I can buy The One Ring on Skymall, I should also be able to buy Patrick Dempsey's "Can't Buy Me Love" cokebottles.
To get you started, here's a list of some sexy movie specs ripe for the replicating.Penelope Ann Miller, "Adventures in Babysitting"Yes, I know. But let us not forget that they are purple.
Rowdy Roddy Piper, "They Live"I have come here to buy kick ass and buy replica sunglasses. I am all out of kicking ass.
Melanie Griffith, "Working Girl"Head for business, bod for sin, glasses for BOTH.
Rashida Jones, "Our Idiot Brother"I really like these but I feel like maybe I just really want to have sex with Rashida Jones.
Jason Schwartzmann, "Rushmore"I love [these glasses], Max. [They're] my Rushmore.
Annie Potts, The "Ghostbusters"esWho you gonna call? LENS! CRAFTERS!
Corey Feldman, "Stand By Me."So, I kind of have these and they kind of make them, but I want them in real glass, without the reflective glare stuff, so that they do that weird opaque thing when the light hits them. I would storm the beaches at Normandy for these, you sons of bitches.
Macauley Culkin, "My Girl."I don't really want these. Because you know who needs them? THOMAS JOHN. HE CAN'T SEE WITHOUT THEM. HE NEEDS HIS GLASSESSSSSSSSSS.
Side Note/Addendum: Mae Whitman in "Parenthood"Not a movie, but WHAT ARE THESE GLASSES? MAE WHITMAN! WHAT ARE YOUR GLASSES? I NEED THEM.
I invite you to submit your favorites, but I warn you that you are accessory to my borderline erotomania. If you can live with that, PLEASE DO.