IMO combining food and sex is at worst disastrous and at best a goddamn waste of food, but humans (Cosmopolitan writers) are gung-ho on making it sound like a good idea. We’ve made of light of this before.
But while we have plenty tutorials on how to correctly eat the donut off the D, Japanese geniuses have now given us a gift to restore faith in making mealtime sexy: a cookbook that reimagines condoms as cooking utensils. This not a joke, not a drill, it’s a real thing that you can buy on Amazon.
Originally titled Condom Meals I Want to Make for You, it now looks like the title has been changed to Condom Rice I Want to Make, probably to reflect the fact that you’re using the condoms as tools rather than for nutritional value. It was apparently created to make condoms familiar and friendly (apparently Japanese men are the third worst in the world at using them) to people who don’t like pie junk.
The book contains 13 tantalizing recipes including “Condom Push Sushi,” “Condom Meat Stuffing,” “Condom Cookies,” and for extra special occasions, “Condom Escargot Cooked With Butter.” It looks like the instructions are all in Japanese but tbh this is worth learning a new language for.
JAPAN, I LOVE YOU.
Reprinted with permission from Styleite.