It was all good until my roommate's dad showed up the morning after our sugar orgy when most of our cookies were still laid out on the kitchen counter. How to explain the "Lick Me" cookie to dear old dad? Thankfully now that we're a bit older having "the talk" over a "Grab My Ass" treat doesn't happen as much. But that didn't stop Dirty Cookie night! Here's how to have one of your own.
Time to sweeten these up with a little frosting. I make mine using a mixture of powdered sugar and milk -- and a tsp. of vanilla. Basically, I start with about a cup-and-a-half of powdered sugar and add the milk one tablespoon at at time until the mixture becomes a thick liquid (kind of like the consistency of Elmer's glue). Then I add the vanilla and some food coloring.
The easiest way to frost the cookies is to drizzle it on with a spoon and use the back of the spoon to push it to the edges. Once all the cookies are frosted, let them dry. This can take a little time, so you may want to do this before your guests arrive.
To add the letters, make a pastry bag out of a baggie by cutting a tiny hole in the corner. Make your frosting as you did before, but leave out the vanilla and add less milk for a thicker consistency.
I always get stuck writing the dirty phrases on the cookies because I make the letters the neatest (none of us are pastry chefs). This was a mixed blessing. On the one hand, I've amassed a delicious dirty talk vocabulary over the last couple of Valentine's Days. But on the other hand, while everyone was enjoying cocktails and having fun, I was decorating cookies. Now everyone takes turns. It's not like you'll be selling these at a bake sale, so it really doesn't matter how perfect the writing looks. It's just fun to have a dirty mouth -- literally.
I promise, Dirty Cookie night is a hysterical (and educational) tradition. Even your friends who're stuck with a date on V Day will want to get in on the naughty nibbles action. After doing this for years, though, we need some new freaky messages for our frosting. What's your favorite sexy two word phrase?