Having an organized and stylish place to keep your weed that you can leave out in plain sight is an option any adult deserves.
Mother Nature, a.k.a. the fictional person whose name I’ve been cursing for what feels like the last 17 months of winter, is finally showing some mercy on us. Alright, it’s a little rainy and cloudy out today in NYC, but at least it’s warm-ish. I actually wore a trench coat this morning instead of my wool coat! And I left it open! This is progress, people. I’ll take whatever crumbs I can to keep my spirits up.
While I’m eager to shove all of my coats into the back of my closet and never look at them again until Halloween, I’m not in a big hurry to let my feet out just yet. Partly because I don’t like worrying about whether or not I have chipped toenail polish or ashy ankles, but also because I’m a bit self-conscious about my feet. I don’t like to show a lot of foot. You know those sandals that are nothing but a sole and a skinny strap of leather running between the big toe? No, thank you.
I don't think I have the worst feet in the world -- I have small bunions on each one, but nothing too scary. I actually like the shape of my feet overall and they look alright when I have a fresh pedicure. But the thing that I’m self-conscious about are my baby toes. You see, years ago when I was in college, I got corns on each little toe. I used to squeeze my feet into really pointy shoes and I’m sure that’s where the trouble started. So when the corns popped up, I bought those corn removers that you get at the drugstore thinking that would get rid of them.
Well, not only did they wipe away my corns, but they took the pigment in my skin along with ‘em. Of course, AFTER this happened a friend told me something to the effect of "Oh yeah, that's what happens if you have dark skin -- those aren't good for our feet." Great.
So ever since then I have these really pale circles on my baby toes. They look weird so I’m always careful to choose sandals that help hide them. I know that seems a little silly, but you know how it is when you get fixated on one of your so-called flaws and imagine that it’s super-noticeable to everyone? That’s how I feel about my corn scars.
So I have my own neurotic reasons for being feet-shy, but I found out that Emily also has strong feelings about keeping toes covered. We were talking about it and she said, “I have no problem with toes in and of themselves -- I mean, I'd suck a clean one. But something about exposed toes in daily life just strikes me really weirdly obscene. LIKE WHY ARE YOU SHOWING EVERYONE YOUR TOES, THAT'S PRIVATE. Plus it's such a hassle to have to have a nice pedicure just to put on shoes in the morning. I'll wear flip-flops on the beach or to run to the store or whatever, but not really anywhere else.”
Apparently, Em’s been vocal about this on social media and she got this tweet:
Well @meltylissa, as requested, I found a bunch of cute options for "non toe whores." Casual, dressy, flats, heels -- the works.
Metallic: So perfect with denim or a sundress. Report Laurie, $80, Piperlime
Neutral: Nice with a busy pattern. Flat Sandals With Open Work Leather, $59.90 Zara
Wedge: For that bright colored dress or skirt that you have no idea what to wear with. Jeffrey Campbell Wedge Sandals, $135, Bloomingdale's
Stacked: Heels you can actually walk in. Dolce Vita Mirella, $92.95, Designs by Stephene
Wild: I'm feeling these with slim black pants or a sexy LWD (little white dress). L.A.M.B. Felix in Black/White, $245, Zappos
Classic: I would do a shift or sheath dress with these, but really, they go with everything. Sling Back Leather Sandals, $69.90, Zara
Bright: When you need to make a basic outfit more interesting. Soulmate 2 Part Sandals, $50, Topshop
So there you go! Our toes will be nice and safe and private...as soon as it's warm enough to wear any of these.