Don’t get me wrong, I own loads of high heels; really nice expensive ones with dust bags and monthly salary price tags, but they hardly ever see the light of day. I love them as sculptural pieces, as wearable art, but in practise, on my feet, out on the cold hard streets of London, they’re a bloody disaster. But what was the alternative? Nothing, nothing I tell you. There just wasn’t one. For years it was high-as-hell or f-all.
But then kitten heels came back into my life, and everything was right with the world once more. Yes, I know; I know kitten heels don’t have the best rep. I know when most people hear the words they think dreary, dowdy, female politicians, but just hear me out. They’ve changed. They’ve had a makeover. They’ve gone all crazy, sexy, cool! Would I lie to you?
Still not convinced? Well maybe I can persuade you with my 5 top reasons why kitten heels are where it’s at, and my pick of this season’s litter (sorry, couldn’t resist!)*.
- You can actually walk in them. Like properly walk… up and down stairs and shit… not just hobble around like a wounded wildebeest. I know this might seem an obvious requirement for footwear, but er, it’s really not so much anymore. See this Christian Louboutin quote for reference; "There is a heel that is too high to walk in, certainly. But who cares? You don't have to walk in high heels."
- They’re a fantastic alternative to flats. I love flat shoes; ballet pumps, slipper shoes, loafers, trainers, yes, yes, yes, but they do nothing for the calf. A kitten heel however gives you that little extra lift; that sexy little tilt that lengthens the calf and slims the leg, and that, my friends, can only be a good thing.
- You’re not going to be mistaken for a stripper, a member of a girl band or even worse, a reality TV star. You may on the other hand, if you’re lucky, be compared to Audrey Hepburn, Jackie Onassis or Michelle Obama (all kitten heel fans). You probably won’t, but you never know.