Is It Too Soon to Think About Fatkini Season? WE'RE GONNA DO IT ANYWAY.

I don't want to spoil anyone, but all I'm gonna say is ONE OF THESE BIKINIS HAS JELLYFISH ON IT.
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Lesley Kinzel
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I don't want to spoil anyone, but all I'm gonna say is ONE OF THESE BIKINIS HAS JELLYFISH ON IT.

If you live in the U.S., odds are high you’re freezing your damn ass off right now. Record lows are romping gaily across the land of the free, parents are worried about their children's appendages dropping off to frostbite, and awkward strangers are rolling out plenty of meaningless weather-based small talk (if I find myself getting in an elevator and observing to my fellow passengers “it’s COLD!” one more time, I may have to kill myself).

AIN’T NO PARTY LIKE AN ARCTIC PARTY BECAUSE AN ARCTIC PARTY IS OH MY GOD I'M SO COLD WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT

AIN’T NO PARTY LIKE AN ARCTIC PARTY BECAUSE AN ARCTIC PARTY IS OH MY GOD I'M SO COLD WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT

So what should you be thinking about? SWIMWEAR, OF COURSE.

It’s a known reality that fashion is always several steps ahead of the season; it’s a delightfully optimistic field that way. I might be sitting in my house looking out at the gray nothing of winter and wondering if I will live to see the spring, while fashion people have already resolved their summer style choices and are ruminating on whether next fall is the right time to bring Z. Cavaricci-style high-waisted and poofy, pleated-front pants back into style. (Please don’t, fashion. Please? God, I'm sorry I even brought it up.)

First up: Monif C, a longtime advocate for the plus-size bikini, just started preorders for her gorgeous Guyana two-piece yesterday, so there’s still time to get in on one (although some colors are already selling out). The Guyana comes in sizes 14W to 24W and six colors and patterns, including the choice red leopard below.

Guyana top, $98, and bottom, $80. 

Guyana top, $98, and bottom, $80. 

Secondly, Fatkini Ambassador to the World Gabi Gregg — of brilliant style blog GabiFresh — launched the pre-sale for her third swimsuit collection with Swimsuits For All at noon today. The new GabiFresh collection includes 8 (EIGHT!) bikinis and one one-piece, and it’s probably my favorite of her collaborations yet. Here's a selection — check out the GabiFresh for SwimSexy preorder page for more.

City Slicker Wrap Bikini, $98

City Slicker Wrap Bikini, $98

Palm Print Underwire One Piece, $98

Palm Print Underwire One Piece, $98

THIS BIKINI HAS JELLYFISH ON IT. JELLYFISH. JUST MAKING SURE YOU NOTICED.

THIS BIKINI HAS JELLYFISH ON IT. JELLYFISH. JUST MAKING SURE YOU NOTICED.

Gabi's suits are available in sizes 12 to 24 in D/DD cups, and 18 to 24 in E/F cups, and are all priced under $100, which is pretty decent in terms of plus-size swimwear. And because Gabi (who, in full disclosure, is a friend of mine, although I'd think she was awesome even if she wasn't) is aware that these suits are going to be worn by real bodies with all kinds of varying quirks, she has helpfully shared some notes on fit on her blog, plus there's more amazing images there, too, if you're only here for fatkini eye candy. 

I do suggest you act on any fatkini urges early, as if prior years are anything to go by, many of these are bound to sell out. 

Do you dig? Is it too early for you to even consider swimwear yet? Are you as excited about a jellyfish bikini as I think you'll be? Do you live in Australia and thus are wearing a bikini RIGHT NOW? Tell me what it's like to be warm again, I've already forgotten.