I love the whole clashing-prints trend going on right now. I'm too scared to try it, but I love it.
When you look closely, the clashing prints that work best aren't really clashing at all--they've got at least one color in common to help unite the two patterns. So while it may seem like a rebellion against matching (one of today's greatest sociopolitical lightning rods), deep down, it's actually a flamboyantly disguised celebration of matching.
I'm a little too concerned with matching. While I don't like blatantly color-coordinating my outfits, I have been known to match my shoes to my eyeshadow.
And if I'm wearing a nail polish color that I believe to be noticeably incompatible with the outfit I've chosen for the day, I may even do a quick removal before I leave the apartment.
So when I heard about China Glaze's new app that tells you which of their Nail Lacquers matches virtually anything, I peed my pants a little. Then I changed my underwear and started taking pictures of everything.
Rose Among Thorns matches my pink faux-snakeskin loafers!
My chambray shirt!
Cosmic Dust matches one of my 173 denim shirts!
I Herd That matches one of my dogs! Wow, that's actually kind of apropos...
But wait. If you really want your nails to ALWAYS match, you have to find colors that match PERMANENT PARTS OF YOU, right?
Unplugged matches my hair! It's true--I don't have hair plugs.
Pearls of Wisdom matches my boobs! Oh jeez...
Foie Gras matches my beauty mark! Just call me Livermole.
Not mine, I know, but SO PRETTY!
You can start matching whatever your sick little minds can think of to China Glaze nail polish with the free app
. And of course, I want you to tell us your best pairings in the comments. Do I even have to ask?