The Gift Guide To Subtly Transform Your Boyfriend Into The Man You Want Him To Be
As we all know, boys have terrible taste. I would know, I am one. That’s why birthdays and holidays are so great, because it’s your chance to, in some small way, change your man from the shmuck that he is into the man that you want him to be. That’s what relationships are all about, right? It’s gotten so extreme in my case that last time my guy asked me to “help him” pick out a cologne, he just took me over to the men’s fragrance section and left me there, saying “Pick one out for me. You’re the only one I’m trying to impress anyway.” I just stood there for a minute, reeling at the monster that I had created.
And it doesn’t have to just be your boyfriend or husband, it could be your brother, your best friend, even your dad. Hell, all guys could use a little cleaning up. Except me.
But what to buy them? All of the men in my life, all of the ones worth buying for anyway, are weirdly difficult. This is probably due to the fact that I am excruciatingly self-centered and can’t see past my own Christmas list but that still doesn’t change the fact that I am fresh out of ideas. So let’s take it back to my favorite men’s products to both get and gift.
I hate shaving. I mostly hate it just because I always feel like it’s just another thing getting in the way of me running out the door, but I used to hate it because it would get mad razor burn. Not anymore though. I started using a better razor and a couple of serious products and my skin barely ever gets irritated anymore.
Perfect Shave is my favorite shaving cream right now. It’s super thick and creamy, and creates a comfortable barrier between my skin and the razor so it doesn’t feel like the blade is taking off the first layer of my skin like a cheese slicer (sorry, that mental image was a little graphic, even for me.)
It’s made with peppermint oil which feels nice and invigorating, even on the roughest of mornings, and sage, rosemary, and thyme (don’t quote that song) oils that soothe the skin during and after my shave.
Protect your man’s face, it needs all the help it can get.
But don’t forget his lips! After all, you’re the one that has to kiss them, so they better be in good shape. I was going to recommend a lip exfoliator, but you and I both know that he won’t be using one of those. So here’s the next best thing, a really nice lip balm.
It’s pretty much common knowledge that Jack Black products are the business, but I usually think of them as just a shaving product company. But no! I was introduced to their lip balms when my hairstylist gave me the entire set of them. Well, he tried to give them to me, anyway. He gave them to my best friend and told him to deliver them, and shocker, he kept them all for himself.
I mostly love this line of lip balms because they come in delicious flavors (grapefruit is my fave, I also love the mint) but also because they feel so good. They’re packed with conditioners to nourish yours lips and sunscreen to protect them. It’s a malleable lip balm, so it doesn’t feel like I have hard, thick layers of wax on my lips after I apply it, and it sinks right in to provide immediate relief.
It’s just a little something that he can keep in his pocket at all times that will make him look and feel better in the long run. Just lie to him and say it was expensive so he’ll be afraid to lend it out or lose it, and he’ll have silky smooth lips in no time!
Your man could probably smell better, too. No?
I am so unbelievably about this fragrance that it’s not even funny. It’s inspired by Ernest Hemingway, which, out of respect for you readers, I’m not even going to pretend to understand. But I know a good scent when I smell one. It hits all the right notes of a good masculine fragrance without being overpowering, feeling dated, or going stale.
1899 pops off at the top juicy bergamot paired with black pepper and juniper, which proves to be a really infatuating combination. It’s very fresh, but the black pepper balances it out so it doesn’t hit you like a “sport” scent that men’s fragrances are being so dominated by right now. Orange blossom and cinnamon keep the party going in the middle, offering the same balanced sweetness that we saw at the top with the bergamot and pepper combo, and it has a warm base of vanilla, vetiver, and amber.
This is one of those rare scents that I’m focused on all day when I have it on, just side-eyeing the rest of the world while I’m standing there in broad daylight, smelling myself. Buy it for your man because we all know that when you’re buying him a scent, you’re really buying a scent for yourself.
Oh, and forget what I said about it being a "masculine" fragrance. We all know that all fragrances are unisex, and this would smell just as awesome on a woman.
Wait, can I throw one product in here that’s not a beauty product, but is great for is great for your dude (OR YOU) anyway?
A phone case. I know, boring. I hate me, too. BUT, I love this. These kinds of cases straight changed my life. And phone cases are a great gift because they're a drag and no one wants to buy one for themselves.
The picture pretty much says it all. It’s a phone case with a door in back that holds three cards and a little cash. They’re available for the iPhone 4, 4S, 5, 5S, and the Samsung Galaxy 4, and most important, they come in a ton of colors so you can match it to every outfit. I used to have a wallet that was constantly overflowing with bullshit I didn’t need like punch cards for coffee shops that I never went to and my numerous parking tickets that I never pay, but no more! Now I just have my license, debit card, and credit card all in the back of my phone. But if you or your man are the kind of people that misplace their phone a lot, then maybe don’t get this because the downside is that when you lose one thing, you lose it all, and you’re totally fucked.
Sorry I know it’s just a phone case, why is it like blowing my mind?
What are your favorite products to give to the men in your life? What are you getting your boyfriend this year? I just bought my dude’s gift today and it is a HIT. I’d tell you what it is, but sometimes he actually reads these. I guess we’ll all just have to wait.
Tynan is the reason for the season on Twitter @TynanBuck.