It's gonna get sappy up in here.
I’ve been offhandedly referencing my “SUMMER OF GOLD” all summer in my articles without giving you any context or explanation. Well, in short, there isn’t much of an explanation at all. It’s just yet another instance of me taking my obsession of the week and using my platform at xoJane to try and make it a thing. A global phenomenon, if you will.
I’ve never liked gold. It just wasn’t for me, it never struck me as being very current. I realize that’s asinine because, hello, it’s GOLD. It’s basically the definition of timeless.
If I were going to wear any jewelry at all, it would be silver. That or I’d just carry around gigantic uncut diamonds. But recently, all of that has changed. Lately, I can’t get enough of gold! Gold on my neck, gold on my wrists, gold on my nails, gold on my sandals, and so on.
All gold everything. You mad? Of course not. Because duh, this means there are oh so many gold beauty LOOKS awaiting you below.
FYI one of my original ideas for this article was a DIY gold body paint, so I could walk around looking like a damn Academy Award. But when I started to Google how to make one myself, the first result that came up was "Do It Yourself Gold Body Paint: Death." I was like "OH, maybe not."
Here’s your soundtrack for this article. One of my many summer anthems:
When I pull up to the club in my solid gold Bentley, toss my gold keys to the valet and tell him not to pawn it, I tend to catch everyone’s attention because I’m just dripping in carats. And you can be, too!
Let’s start out with:
Oh, hey! I feel like no one is really checking for lip gloss right now, but why the hell not? I love a nice matte lip as much as everyone else, but, yo, let’s branch out a little. Let’s expand our horizons. With lip gloss!
What makes O-Gloss different is that it “works with your body chemistry to create a custom shade” just for you. O-Gloss began as a gloss that started clear and then changed to pink. Then, they released this GOLD version that came exclusively in a set during the holiday season back in 2010. People loved it so much that Smashbox did an official release and now we can enjoy it all year round.
It applies gold, like a “Hi, don’t mind me, my lips are literally just dripping in gold right now” gold. Insanity. But then after just a couple seconds, it morphs into a beautiful shade of peach with just the faintest gold shimmer. Normally, I’m not a fan of glosses with a peach hue, but the color and effect is seriously gorgeous. I can’t not rave about it! Like, what do you want from me?
It’s perfect for summer when you’re lounging in your gold-plated kiddie pool, or for the holiday season, when everybody is wearing shimmery, champagne-y hues. Or better yet, whenever the hell else you want to wear it. Just do you!
The next power player we have is the Sephora Collection Precious Gold Luminizer!
On my life, this is a rap video in a tube. Since I worship at the temple of illuminators every day, I hesitate to refer to it as a “luminizer” or an illuminator of any sort, because the effect is just so dramatic. Illuminators usually subtly diffuse light to make your skin look more glowy. This one, not so much.
But it’s AWESOME. The Precious Gold Luminizer is packed with sparkle. A little bit goes a very long way with this stuff. It’s safe to use on your body and your face, and it’s 70% water so there’s no dry time, and no sticky residue like you might find with body glitter (not that I would knoooooow.) You’re not going to be rubbing glitter off on everything you touch either, this stuff actually sticks surprisingly well, so all of you who are rushing to the comments section to say that “Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies” can cordially SAVE IT.
I suppose, though, that this is still in the “luminizer” category because unlike loose glitter, it’s harder to tell that you’re wearing it until you’re hit by direct sunlight (or strobe light, laser, disco ball etc.) but when you are, BLAW, there’s no mistaking it. This product should be every party monster, raver, and club kid’s secret weapon. Oh, and it’s only 10 DOLLARS! That’s, like, way cheaper than ecstasy.
And now for some solid gold fragrances.
Obviously: Lady Million by Paco Rabanne!
I mean, fragrance aside, this scent comes in a giant gold nugget! HELLO.
Oh, and also, it’s really good. Let me be honest when I tell you that all of the write-ups on this scent are even more pretentious than normal fragrance descriptions. God, never before have I seen PARAGRAPHS describing the notes that make up a fragrance. We should start forcing fragrance companies to simply tweet the fragrance descriptions. If you can’t say it in 140 characters, then don't say it at all.
But let me break it down for all the real girls out there. On top, you get juicy bursts of orange flower and raspberries. In the middle, there’s a forest of white florals, such as gardenia and jasmine. At its base, the scent is anchored in patchouli. It may not be the most groundbreaking of perfumes, but the fragrance is perfectly balanced, the fruity sweetness carried by the light florals, great for all day wear.
Finally, we have another new scent: Honey by Marc Jacobs!
Marc has outdone himself once again on the fragrance tip. For starters, look at that GOLD bottle. I can’t even begin to even. My heart is being melted by a bottle of perfume. You guys, what is wrong with me?
WE MAY NEVER KNOW, but what we do know is that this scent is another great addition to the family of Marc Jacobs perfumes!
Honey is delicious, if not a bit deceptive. The topmost note is pear (pear? I fucking LOVE pear!), followed by orange blossom, peach, and apricot. Do you love it yet? In the middle, there’s a pungent bouquet (shut up, Tynan) of honeysuckle and orange blossom, leveled out at the bottom by vanilla, wood, and -- you guessed it -- honey.
Wait, though, I know that sounded as fruity as, well, I am, but trust me when I say that this fragrance is almost more floral than anything. The mild sweetness of the pear and other fruits take some of the edge off of the sometimes abrasive white florals, and the warm trio honey, wood, and vanilla hold it all together. So, so good. Plus, it will look great on your solid gold vanity next to its big sister Dot.
What are your feelings on GOLD, and all of these gold products? What are you obsessing over this summer? What should products should I be trying out during the hottest months of the year? Tell me in the comments!
Tynan is solid gold on Twitter: @TynanBuck.