BEAUTY WITCH: Rub-a-Dub Beelzebub! Satanic Soaps Recommended by NYC's Favorite Living Dead Girl

From now on, I'll be bringing you beauty tips from the other side, ghoulish products to check out and maybe even some ways to witch up your wardrobe.

Jan 15, 2014 at 2:00pm | Leave a comment

I’m Severely Mame, a performer and New York City’s (self appointed) Favorite Dead Girl. You can call me your personal Beauty Witch here on xoJane.
 
From now on, I'll be bringing you beauty tips from the other side, ghoulish products to check out and maybe even some ways to witch up your wardrobe. This time around I’ve got a some satanic beauty products for you!
 
There are precious few non-alcoholic ways to cope with the world around you on these brutally cold winter days. My personal go-to is a nice hot bath. Whether I’m bathing in the blood of virgins or just tap water, it can be a step in the right direction to feeling better.  
 
Though I’m a lush myself, I’m not really a Lush Cosmetics kind of ghoul. Fizzy baths with glitter can be great, but I found my personal brand of bathing in some heavenly, or should I more appropriately say hellish, products by Bizarro Au Go-Go. Bizarro Au Go-Go’s website promises "A Psychotronic Journey of Blood, Babes and Beyond" and delivers, in my eyes. But I didn’t realize that the "beyond" would contain bath products right up this Beauty Witch’s alley.
 
Bizarro Au Go-Go’s "Rub-A-Dub Beelzebub" Soaps come in all sorts of Satanic shapes and figures, from the Inverted Scentagram to the Sanitizing Oracle Planchette. I have the Bubble Baphomet gift set which has a bar of "Evil" Goat’s Milk soap and the Blasphemous Body oil and spray all in the Demon’s Blood scent.
 
On their website, they describe this as one of their "most complex scents" featuring "notes of amber, frankincense, vanilla, and patchouli blended with rose, jasmine, and lilac infused with juicy blood orange and grapefruit." That’s quite a bit to take in and imagine, so the best way I can describe it is the mysterious and luxurious herbal scent that lingers in the air of every witch store you walk into. The faint smell of incense burning, jars of dried and fresh herbs, and the patchouli that every witch seems to wear combines to create a field day for your nose.
 
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I grew so attached to my Bubble Baphomet bar of soap it was hard to bring myself to use it. He’s just so cute with his little horns, cloven hooves and breasts. In time, I realized that once I used him up, I could justify buying more of their soaps in different shapes and scents, (I have my eye on the Sanitizing Oracle Planchette) so I drew a bath!
 
I set the mood with candles and Anton LaVey’s carnival organ album "Satan Takes a Holiday" then hopped in my bath with Beelzebub! The soap left me feeling soft and clean and not like I reeked of the soap’s "Demon’s Blood" scent. Soaps made of goats milk have the upper hand in the soap world since they aren’t just a mash-up of chemicals and acids that age your skin in the long run.
 
Can’t use goat’s milk? Satanic vegans are in luck because the Rub-A-Dub Beelzebub soaps also come in a vegan-friendly shea butter option.
 
When I got out of the bath, I used the Blasphemous Body Oil, which made my rotting flesh feel as soft as the day I died, but didn’t leave me feeling oily or greasy. I doused myself with Blasphemous Body Spray for good measure -- I was hoping I would go to sleep and Satan would stop by and recreate that really beautiful love-making scene from Rosemary’s Baby where he impregnates her with his spawn!
 
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You can pick these bars of soap up for $8-10 on the Bizarro Au Go-Go Website under the "Soap" tab! I was drawn in by the kitsch factor, but I'll keep using them because they’re handmade with artistic value and great natural ingredients, all at an affordable price point! Now can someone point me in the direction of a tannis root necklace?