Would You Like Some Glow-in-the-Dark Orange Hair to Go with Your Cheeto Perfume?

Also in this week's beauty news: How did a not-black woman end up on the cover a magazine about black hairstyles?

Before I get sidetracked with something as inane as an "intro paragraph" I gotta jump right in here —

You. Guys.

There is a Cheeto fragrance, aptly named Cheeteau (which I applaud because words are fun). I don't know what it smells like because I don't have one in front of me (yo, Cheetos PR — hook a girl up with some Cheeteau) but their site descriptions says:

"This ravishing scent is crafted from hand-extracted cheese oils taken from only the rarest Cheetos® and carefully mixed by hitting the blender’s ON button. With Cheeteau, you’re sure to lure anyone (hungry) around you, for no one can resist the smell of Cheetos®."

It also then links you to their return policy which is final sale. For $18.99, that's not really too much of a gamble, but it is also a not-totally-cheap gag gift.

There's also a Cheeto bronzer, but joke's on them because don't they know that every bag of Cheetos comes with powder bronzer at the bottom?

OK, had to get that off my chest. It's like that time KFC made chicken-flavored nail polish and sunscreen. Why fast/processed foods are pandering to the beauty/self-care market is perplexing but I'm honestly interested to see how much profit comes of these things.

How do we feel about Phoenix hair?

If you're the type of person who follows a lot of hairstylists on Instagram because maybe you're looking for cut/color inspiration served up in your daily scroll, you probably follow Guy Tang. He is quite Insta-famous for making women's hair into cool-princess Instagram hair (which is a thing even though no one says it is but you know it when you see it).

A self-described "HairActivist" Mr. Tang has created yet another hair color micro-trend, Phoenix hair. It's basically blacklight-responsive glow in the dark neon hair.

Does this not remind you of The Predator's thermal vision? I should share that my hair, bleached to Hades, is already blacklight responsive, but I don't call it Phoenix hair because it mostly just looks like a radioactive tooth.

According to Tang's IG bio, he does not take new clients, but that's fine because he revealed his magician secrets: these Kenra Color Neon dyes.

BLACKHAIR magazine uses a not-black cover model and is subsequently dragged

London-based model Emily Bador is half-white, half-Malaysian. I used to follow her on Instagram mostly just because I think she is very cute. Bador issued a personal apology on her own Instagram saying how the photo was taken a few years ago and she didn't know it would be used in any magazine, let alone as a cover image for a magazine about black hairstyles.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNDrib-l083

I would deeply and sincerely like to apologise to every one for this, and black women especially. I would like to clarify, I believe this shoot is from when I was around 15 and didn't understand cultural appropriation or the impact it has on POC. I was uneducated, which obviously is no excuse, ignorant and immature. Growing up in a very very white city, I had no idea the struggles black women face and how often they were persecuted for their hair. I didn't understand how black women are constantly told their natural hair is inappropriate/unprofessional for the work place, or how young girls are told they can't go to school with natural hair. I didn't understand that shoots like this support the very Eurocentric beauty standard that the mainstream media focus on which reinforce the idea that black features are only ok on white women. I didn't understand that as a white passing woman I'd be praised for this hair, but if I was a black woman I'd be persecuted. I didn't understand cultural appropriation. ✨ I do regret doing this. I hold up my hands, I'm so so so sorry and I'm very sorry this cover was taken away from a black woman. This image is (I think, although I'm not 100% sure) about 3/4 years old, it was never intended to be on the cover of this magazine. If I had known it was going to be published, I would never have condoned it. I'm upset and angry I was never asked by the photographer/hair salon/anyone if this image could be used for the cover Black Hair. ✨ I'm so glad I've educated myself and surrounded my self with people to teach me what is right and wrong. I constantly am learning and becoming more and more informed. It's important to come forward and be honest with ourselves about our past mistakes, otherwise we will never learn. Again, I'm truly, deeply sorry to anyone I've offended and I hope if nothing else this post can educated others so they don't make similar mistakes. (also please let me know if I've said anything wrong or offensive in this post!!! or anything i can add!!!! i love u all sm and the last thing i want to do is offend or hurt any one, i really hope you don't all think im a massive twat 😔)

A post shared by e m i l y bador (@darth_bador) on

Good on you, Emily.

BLACKHAIR editor Keysha Davis offered an explanation via Facebook post for how this whole thing happened:

Painfully hip/expensive boutique Opening Ceremony now has a beauty section

And they've kicked it off with a bunch of K-beauty curations. I mean, I don't see how OC has waited this long to fill out their beauty selections, which, to my knowledge, were 99% dominated by Comme Des Garçon fragrances, but whatever. Personally, I think they'd kill it at a private line but at that rate, they may as well just be the first distributor of Glossier.

The shop is launching 28 products from popular K-beauty brands like Too Cool For School, Son & Park, Memebox, and SkinRx Lab.

Basically, all this means is that I'll be able to afford a retail-priced item in Opening Ceremony soon. Hurray for plebs like me!

Welp, it's the day before Thanksgiving, which Caitlin aptly calls Bangsgiving,, so

  • What do you guys usually do on Bangsgiving (besides the obvious)? I like to go to places that are normally crowded in NYC and relish in their less-than-crowdedness.
  • What do you imagine Cheeteau smells like? OMG, do any of you have it?
  • Would you walk around with a blacklight if you had Phoenix hair?