Quick Question: Which Nail Polish Color Will Get Me A Boyfriend Fastest?

What if I've been single all this time because my chosen nail colors have been sending the wrong messages?
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Publish date:
April 1, 2013
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Quick Question, nail polish, Dating, April Fool's Day, desperation

You might have read my recent xoJane article about how I've been single for seven years and I'm trying to figure out why. So, I'm working on my self-deprecation, health, etc., but three whole weeks have passed and I still don't have a boyfriend! WTF?!

Then it hit me: I don't think I've given enough thought to the impact my cosmetic color choices have potentially been making on how eligible bachelors view me.

For example, right now, I'm wearing Spoiled Nail Color in Designated Driver, a rich yellow that matches the seats on the R train. I think it's just a great marigold hue, but what do SINGLE MEN think? It's kind of the color of the yellow light in a traffic signal--OH, THE IMPLICATIONS!

So today's Quick Question: Which of these nail polish colors will get me a boyfriend fastest? Essence Colour & Go Nail Polish in Modern Romance, Zoya Professional Lacquer in Neeka, or L'Oreal Nail Color in L'orange?

This is important, you guys. I really thought I would've been married a second or third time by now. I CAN'T STAND TO BE ALONE ANOTHER DAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!