I Created the World's Most Narcissistic Makeup Look by Using Only Colors Called 'Sable'

I am universally flattering.
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Publish date:
July 1, 2016
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Tags:
mac, nyx, tom ford, clinique, iman, eyeshadow, foundation, eyeliner, lipstick, sable, blush, neutrals, birthdays, nudes

I am turning 30 this weekend. (So is Lindsay Lohan, incidentally.) This means that, for 30 years, I have never been able to find a "Sable" novelty toothbrush, tiny license plate, keychain, or any other novelty item with my name on it. And OK, I had a very cushy childhood and was totally provided-for on all fronts, but this lack of auto-monogram has always irked me. How can a child be told "You're so special, you're the best, you're the chosen one!" and then Disney World doesn't have a goddamn Mickey-Mouse-ears hat with "Sable" embroidered on the back?

Do you understand what this does to a young, sheltered girl's psyche? It yanks up the blinds of reality that I wasn't supposed to witness until I hit puberty and my peers informed me that I was weird and not to be associated with. Reality came early and with no labeled accoutrements to solidify my place in the world.

I resented my name a lot growing up because it was "weird" and sometimes people called me "Stable" for no real reason other than they were too lazy (read: RUDE) to phonetically pronounce dual-syllabled name correctly. My mom heard the name on the '80s soap Dynasty, and liked it so much she decided to name her only daughter after a wealthy divorcee who had several illegitimate children with her rapist. OK, Mom.

Now I am totally OK with my name. Starbucks never gets it right (coolest misinterpretation: Salem. Worst? Salad) but I don't really like their coffee that much, so oh well. I have never met another Sable to this day.

I have learned, however, that several things are called Sable: furs, brushes, mid-priced sedans (since discontinued), a color (usually dark brown), antelope, weasels, an island someplace near Cape Cod, a WWE wrestler, etc.

Also lots of makeup shades are named Sable. One of the first makeups I bought was a matte brown eyeshadow single from Sonia Kashuk because it had my name (it, like the Mercury, has since been discontinued). But a quick Google search led me to discover that so many makeup brands have had a shade of something with the name Sable.

So, in a bout of birthday-fueled narcissism, I hunted down every one I could that wasn't discontinued.


It turns out, in makeup, things named Sable are generally a soft brown/mauve/sometimes plummy shade. I happen to love those shades on me.

Brown, bronzy eye makeup is always my go-to for anytime, really. It's casual but also lush, especially when worn smudgy. Dare I say, I am universally flattering.

IMAN Luxury Blushing Powder in Sable is a medium brown that works well as a contour shade or bronzer on lighter skin tones. I like that it has the right amount of warmth to leave a flush as well.

NYX Simply Nude Lip Cream in Sable is the deepest shade in this tiny nude lip-color collection. Again, something I bought because it had my name, but also because it was less than $10 and it's a nice color.

I'm mostly floored that Tom Ford's Traceless Foundation Stick in Sable actually was my exact foundation match. It's a creamy solid formula, but it blends like butter (which I did with a beautyblender), and it's buildable, so there's no need to cake it on unless there's something I really want to cover.

Tom Ford Sable Smoke Lipstick in Sable is a "bold nude" — you know, the kind that's paler-than-your-lips nude and veers on '60s go-go style? (I mean, no one ever really goes lip-nude to the point of finding their exact lip color match just like finding a foundation match, right? Otherwise, just wear clear balm.) Anyway, this nude lipstick is a pale, peachy color that I do not hate at all.

I'm entering my thirties a lot more confidently than I did my twenties. I was kind of bopping around aimlessly for most of my twenties, honestly — a staunch dilettante with a pitiful savings account. A lot of of weird-ass stuff went down that, when I look back on it, I'm still like, Huh, why did I ever think that was a good idea?

But I've really gotten so much shit together and learned a LOT (about career stuff, people, relationships, wildlife, basic chemistry) in the last couple years. And I'm still learning stuff. Learning is great! It's never too late, y'all.

I almost am beginning to understand something someone told me long ago, which is that "your twenties are the worst time of your life that you never realize until you're in your thirties." Bleak, kind of, but ultimately positive with time.

  • Have any of you grown up with a weird name and felt weird about it? What did you do to be cool with it?
  • Would you try a "Sable" makeup look? I mean in the literal sense; not in the sense that I just told you to do a random makeup thing.
  • WHO ELSE IS STOKED TO BE 30???